Steve's Nose-vella
by whump-2-go
Summary: A light-hearted tale about whumping Steve by giving him a broken nose. Set a week after the season 5 finale. The continuation of "Operation Pulverized Proboscis" by Cokie316 and Sym64.


**A/N - A few weeks ago MamaYorkie had a great idea born out of a conversation on our blog. That idea created a fun poll, a short hopefully fun little story, two updates, and of course this story.**

 **So, first and foremost, our thanks goes to our readers on our blog. You really rock. This story is for all you guys, the ones who comment on our stories, who engage in fun conversations, and who have helped us through a few personal tragedies.**

 **Thank you all for following us and keeping us sane. Thank you for all your kind words, for your encouragement, for your kicks in the butt. For just being there.**

 **Without you this story would never have seen the light of day. Thank you!**

 **More A/N at the end of the story. And now, to ALL readers, here and on the blog, we hope you will enjoy this not so little one-shot.**

 **And again, thanks to Kimphin1 for the title. :-)**

We took some liberties with the location. We needed to change the logistics a little bit, so that this would work. But if you haven't been there, you won't even know it. ;-)

To enjoy this story with pictures and all, you should head over to our blog (whump2go dot wordpress dot com) and read it there.

… Cokie316 and Sym64

* * *

 **Steve's Nose-vella  
** _by Cokie and Sam_

"Commander, how did this happen?" The doctor asked while he tried to stop the bleeding.

 _I don't believe this is happening_ , Steve thought as he looked down at his blood soaked shirt. _Maybe I need to come up with a less embarrassing story?_

Steve shook his head at the idea of lying about how he ended up in the ER on this Saturday afternoon.

"Commander?"

"Sorry… I… ehm," he begun. "Ugh, I feel dizzy," Steve said and before he even realized it his vision grayed and he was flat on his back with his feet slightly elevated.

Which wasn't a comfortable position while his nose still bled freely. He only opened his eyes when he heard 'blood loss and IV'.

"No, no, I don't need an IV," Steve said and tried to sit up. "It's just a nosebleed," he grumbled but stopped his attempt to get into an upright position when the room tilted again.

The doctor smiled down at him and adjusted the already flowing IV. "Well, Commander, that is debatable. First off, you have lost quite a bit of blood, which is the reason for the saline. And second, your _'just a nosebleed'_ is caused by a fracture. And let's not forget the very impressive bruise on your forehead," Dr. Miles calmly said. "Care to tell me how _**that**_ happened?"

"Ehm."

"Uh huh. Just relax, Commander, and we have you fixed up in no time," Miles said and turned to the intern assisting him. "Please make sure Commander McGarrett gets a CT as soon as they are free upstairs. Call me when he's back. I'll see you in a bit, Commander," he addressed his patient again.

Steve kept quiet but glared at his doctor, which only evoked another patient smile in the older man.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Two hours earlier**_

 _ **Kapiolani Park**_

Inez Petunia Iwalani pulled the large Lincoln into the parking lot of Kapiolani Park and pumped the brakes until the long hood of the car almost kissed the wooden fence post. Inez tried to peer through the large steering wheel to ensure the car was comfortably in the space as she didn't want the car's rear end to be hit because it was hanging out into the parking lot.

She placed her hat firmly on her head and gathered her purse from the seat beside her. Opening the door, she glanced around not seeing anything out of the ordinary. _A woman of her age and small stature couldn't be careless out and about by herself._ Enoka, her dearly departed husband had told her that repeatedly. He had told her more than once that a big puff of air could just pick her up and carry her out to sea.

Unfortunately, the unthinkable had happened to her a mere two months ago when two youths accosted her in the open air market. One grabbed her bananas right out of her hand and the other took her hat right off her head as they raced by on those demon skateboards. At that time, Miss Petunia, as Enoka had always called her, decided that she would never be a victim again. She went out and purchased a bright pink Taser that went everywhere with her.

Miss Petunia had been coming to Kapiolani Park every Saturday morning she was able. This was where she had first met Enoka and they had strolled these grounds many times until the cancer took him three years ago. And since he had been gone, she had continued to come here, feeling Enoka's presence in the outdoors more so than she did at home.

She opened the huge trunk and reached for her cushion, thankful that the earlier shower rain had stopped. Her bones didn't appreciate sitting on the hard benches any longer so she was always prepared. She tucked the pillow under one arm, had the handles of her purse on the other and began to close the heavy trunk. Her hand slipped on the smooth, wet surface and she nearly toppled sideways, managing to right herself before that happened.

Unfortunately, the arm holding her bulky purse slipped and the bag slid to the ground, its contents spilling onto the wet surface.

"Oh, Fudge," Petunia said to herself as she reached down to pick up her belongings.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve McGarrett had run his heart out that morning. And it had felt good. The trail around Diamond Head is about four and a half miles and he had run it in record time; pushing himself to the limit. Now, he was on the last leg of his journey, the path back down to Kapiolani Park. He was hot, sweaty and dirty from the mud-splattered trail he had been on. And although the almost torrential rain had felt good on this hot morning, he couldn't wait to get back home and get a shower.

He slid on the path and slowed his jog to a walk at the entrance to the parking lot. His truck was half-way down the lot and there was only one other car in the entire area. Apparently people had run for cover when the rain had hit. Steve walked slowly around the perimeter of the asphalt surface, relaxing his muscles and cooling off.

"Oh, Fudge," he heard a voice say near the bright yellow Lincoln parked nearby. He couldn't see anyone, but as he moved around the front bumper of the car, he saw an apple roll from beneath the car into his line of vision.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve scooped up the apple and saw a huge, hot pink purse that had also fallen to the ground. He bent to pick it up, a smile on his face when he saw the tiny woman attempting to gather all her belongings.

He held out the purse toward her. "Here you go. Let me—"

The ability to talk was forgotten when he felt a surge of pain rush from his side, traveling along his nerve endings both up and down his body. He felt his legs buckle and he could do nothing to stop the downward movement. All he could see was a rush of yellow as the car's back fender greeted his face. Steve tried to stay on his knees after that hit but felt himself plowing forward.

His last conscious thought was _**this is gonna hurt**_ right before he smacked face first into the asphalt.

H50 – H50 – H50

Petunia jumped backward as the horrible man dropped right at her feet. And on top of her new wallet. The one with the hummingbirds on it. _So he thought he was going to steal that, too, did he?!_ She was getting back _**all**_ of her stuff – including her apple! She reached down to turn him over when a gurgling sound came from his throat. Thinking he was going to come to, she hit the back of his shoulder with the Taser. Just for good measure.

After that, there was no more sound or movement from him.

She leaned down and grabbed his arm and managed to pull it upward and slightly turn him in order to reach her pretty wallet. Unfortunately, the brightly colored hummingbirds were now splattered with even brighter red blood. Petunia took a closer look at the man and was amazed that all that blood could come from one person's nose.

What a mess he was making.

But the thief didn't matter. She had to gather her belongings and get out of that parking lot before this dreadful man woke up and tried to grab her once again. Lord knows what he would have done to her if she hadn't been quick on the draw.

Teach him to try and take advantage of old ladies. His bloody nose served him right!

H50 – H50 – H50

The first thing Steve recognized were voices talking above him.

 _Jeez, that's a lot of blood._

 _Wow… gotta hurt._

 _I'm calling EMS._

He then realized they were talking _**about**_ him.

"Ugh," he groaned, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth and down his throat, making him want to throw up. As soon as that thought came into his mind, his brain screamed _**NO!**_ knowing that puking would be a horrific experience.

Speaking of experiences, he lay there, on his face, trying to remember where he was and why.

"Hey, man," someone said and he felt a touch on his shoulder.

That touch spurred him into action and he rolled onto his back, one hand reaching for his aching head, the other in a defensive move.

Suddenly someone was kneeling beside him. "OK, OK, we're cool. My dad's calling 911."

Steve couldn't stay on his back because the blood that had been pouring from his nose started choking him. He slowly turned onto his side, one hand still planted firmly on his forehead in hopes of keeping his brain from running out his nose with the rest of that gunk.

"I'm not getting good service up here," another voice said. "I'll head away from the beach and try again."

"No, s'OK," Steve said, pushing himself up from the ground to a sitting position. "Wha' appened?"

"We're not sure," the older of the two males said, handing Steve a towel. "Here, see if you can stop the bleeding. My son and I just pulled into the parking lot for a run and we saw you lying here. There isn't anyone else around."

The image of yellow flashed through Steve's mind. A car. After that, he remembered pain.

"There was a yellow car," Steve said, both hands now up to his face. He started to stand when the dad placed his hand on Steve's shoulder. "Maybe you should stay down. I think you need to get to the hospital."

"Yeah, maybe," Steve conceded realizing the blood was still gushing. "But I can drive."

"No way, man," the teen said. "You're bleeding like shit… I mean, real bad," the young corrected himself and looked at his father. "Hey, Dad, you could drive him in his truck and I'll follow in our car."

"You don't need—" Steve tried to protest.

"Hey, we can't leave you here. We can hike tomorrow. Let us help you out. My name is Alan Hu and that's my son, Justin. Now, will you trust me with your keys to bring your truck over here?"

Steve sighed and tried to nod his agreement but any movement of his head caused the pain to increase. He carefully reached into his pocket and retrieved the truck key.

H50 – H50 – H50

"So do you remember any more than a yellow car?" Mr. Hu asked as they were on their way to Queens.

"Nothing that makes sense," Steve said from beneath the towel he was still holding to his face. "The last thing I remember is an apple."

Mr. Hu chuckled. "An apple, huh? Hope this story doesn't involve a mean witch." With a side glance at Steve he explained, "I have an eight year old daughter. We watch a lot of Disney."

"Ah, yeah, I get it," Steve said as they pulled into the ER parking lot.

"I'll let you out and go park the car and bring your keys. Be back in just a minute."

"Thanks," Steve told him, unbuckling the seat belt while holding the towel with one hand. He nodded to a pen and notepad in the truck's console. "Leave me your name and number please."

"Sure thing."

Steve got out of the truck and waited for Mr. Hu to return with the keys. He watched the son pull into the lot and wait for his dad. Scanning the lot to see where his truck would be parked, he spied a yellow car.

 _The apple rolled toward him._

 _A tacky, hot pink flowered, purse on the ground._

 _A hot pink Taser in the hands of a little, mean old lady wearing an ugly hat!_

 _Finally he remembered a yellow car before pain had erupted in his head and he fell to his knees._

Suddenly, the picture of his 'accident' was quite clear. He had been beaten up by a little, old lady.

Maybe she really was a mean witch!

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Queen's Medical Center – Emergency Room**_

The bleeding had finally stopped. Steve was glad to see that the gauze he had been gently pressing against his hurting nose didn't have any fresh blood on it when he looked at it.

Of course the bridge of his nose still hurt like a bitch, and his head was a totally different matter. The pounding behind his forehead was driving him mad. He knew he had hit his head on that damn yellow car pretty good. He had been out for a few minutes, after all.

 _That might be due to the Taser though_ , he mused. He could still feel the stinging sensation in his side, and oddly enough on the back of his shoulder. He couldn't recall being hit there. But who knows what that crazy lady had done to him after he had been knocked out.

As soon as he got out of here he would go after her… _yeah, and announce to the whole world that you were knocked out by an old lady?_ Steve growled under his breath in frustration.

But he couldn't let her get away with it either. She could seriously hurt someone with her damn Taser. _You think?_ His inner voice again piped up. He was fit and healthy, but a person not quite as fit as he was might have suffered real damage. _What do you call your damaged head_? That annoying voice in his head said again.

Steve knew heart problems are only one risk of being tased. It could also cause seizures and suppress breathing. Even healthy people have died from the use of a stun gun.

Not even to mention the injuries the unavoidable fall could cause.

No, that little woman was a menace to society; he had to take her off the streets. He would put her behind bars; that was a done deal. No matter the embarrassing fact that she managed to subdue a bad ass SEAL.

Steve again snorted about the term _. Bad ass SEAL, my ass_. That actually made him laugh, which amused the doctor who chose just that moment to come back into the room.

"Glad to see that you haven't lost your humor," Dr. Miles said still smiling.

That damn smile also got on Steve's nerves. He wasn't really in the mood for it right now. His head really hurt, and adding insult to injury was not a good mix. "Funny," Steve grunted and looked at the ER doctor. "The bleeding stopped, can I go now?"

Steve glared at Miles when he chuckled under his breath. "No, Commander, you certainly can't leave just now. The CT shows a clear break, which luckily is not displaced. As it looks at the moment we don't need to do much about it."

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, it is. But you still need to see an ENT in about three to five days when the swelling is completely down. Just to make sure that there is no other damage," Miles explained. "I will prescribe pain medication and the area should be iced."

"I can do that," Steve said.

"Yes, you can, because you will be here for the next 24 hours," Miles said. Again with that damn smile plastered on his face.

"What?"

"Commander, you hit your head hard enough to be unconscious for an unknown amount of time…"

"Come on, Doc… that was because I got tased, not…"

"Wait… what? You didn't say anything about a Taser," Miles interrupted. "This changes everything. If the Taser knocked you out, it might have been an illegal one with a too high output. That puts your heart at risk."

"I feel fine," Steve said.

"Now you do, but that can change. I'll admit you for observation, first for your head injury, and you'll get a 24-hour EKG. Just to be on the safe side, Commander."

If Steve was honest, he couldn't even argue with his doctor. Just a few minutes ago he had thought about the damage a Taser could cause. Grudgingly he had to admit that this smiling doctor seemed to know what he was doing.

"OK, fine. One night," Steve agreed.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve looked at the nurse and then at the hospital issued gown on the bed. "You serious?"

"Well, Commander, you could get in bed without it… it's not our policy, but I'm sure the nurses won't mind," the elderly woman told him smiling.

"Everyone's a comedian here," Steve grumbled under his breath.

An orderly had just brought him up to his room in the ICU. And now he was supposed to get into the bed and rest. He had suggested that he could just lie on the bed, in a normal room, in his clothes, but the nurse didn't want to hear any of that.

"Do you need help changing?" The nurse asked sweetly.

"No," Steve forcefully said and stood up from the wheelchair he was brought up in. But as soon as he stood he had to grab for the bed's railing when a head rush hit him.

"Whoa, Commander, don't jump up like that," Nurse April called out and rushed to his aid. "Here, sit down on the bed."

She had grabbed his arm and guided him to sit down. Steve let it happen and closed his eyes against the dizziness, nausea and pain. His head felt like it would explode, or implode for that matter, any second now. He knew it was probably from a combination of the hard run he had finished just before getting tased, the shock of the Taser and of course, the hard hit on the damn yellow car.

"Ugh, sorry," Steve said and wasn't quite sure what he was sorry for. "I'm dizzy."

"You will feel better lying down. Even though you only have a mild concussion, it can mess with you quite a bit," April told her patient. "Come on, I'll help you."

Before Steve could say anything she had his shoes and socks off. She reached for the hem of his bloody shirt and cautioned, "Hold still so I don't hit your nose." Before he knew it, she had pulled his soaked shirt over his head and set it on the floor. "Son, that shirt might as well go in the trash right now."

Steve came out of his stupor to realize what she was saying. "Uh, no, that's my good SEAL shirt."

"Good?" she argued, good-naturedly. "It has holes in it and is caked in blood. I doubt it will ever come clean."

"Don' throw it away," he warned.

"Of course I won't," she assured him. A minute later she had the hated gown on him and helped him pull down his running shorts.

"Lay back against the pillows, Commander. Dr. Miles ordered something for pain and possible nausea. Do you still feel sick?"

"No, it's better now. My head just hurts," Steve confessed and wasn't against some of the good stuff to help with the pain. "Thank you," he said and smiled at his nurse. "Can we move the bed down some more?"

"Sorry, but you need to keep your head raised so that you don't choke if you start bleeding again. You just rest now, I'll be back in a minute with your medication," the elderly nurse said as she stuffed his belongings… including the bloody shirt… into a bag and put it in the closet. "Someone from the heart clinic will be in to set up your EKG, too."

Steve watched her leave and sighed in relief. If he was honest, his head did hurt something fierce and a little bit of rest couldn't hurt.

"Damn," he swore under his breath as he remembered that he had to call Duke. Telling the story to his older friend was not something he was looking forward to.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve leaned his aching head back, and thought about the last few hours. The day had started so well; he had had a great breakfast and then went on a good run. Pushing himself to the limit had been just what he had needed.

But then everything went south. That witchy old lady had caught him totally by surprise; and he had paid a hefty price for wanting to help.

His nose was broken, his head still hurt fiercely, and his fractured and swollen nose made it impossible to breathe normally. His whole head felt ready to explode. _Yeah, that is what you get for impacting with that yellow monster of a car_ , Steve thought morosely.

He closed his eyes when another wave of nausea swept over him; he really couldn't afford to get sick. That would be the icing on the cake for this glorious day. He was sure that would be a _**very**_ unpleasant experience. Not that puking was pleasant under any circumstances, but with a fractured and painful nose and a headache from hell, Steve knew he'd feel miserable afterward. And while doing it.

It took a couple of minutes for the queasy feeling to abate, and he was just feeling a little better when there was a knock on the glass sliding door right before it opened.

"Duke. Hey, come in. I'm awake," Steve called the older HPD sergeant in.

"Commander, wow. Steve, that looks like it hurts," Duke Lukela said in sympathy.

"Yeah, it does," Steve admitted. "Duke, thanks for coming."

"Of course," the older man said and pulled over a chair from the table that stood at the window, while looking around the hospital room.

"What are you looking for?"

"Lieutenant Rollins or at least Detective Williams," Duke told him with a smile. "Just wonder why they aren't here."

"I didn't call them," Steve answered. "Cath is visiting her parents, they 'demanded' she come see them after she has been gone for so long. She'll be back on Monday. And Danny's with Grace at some sports event."

"Ah, I see," Duke nodded. "So, about the assault. But first, how are you doing?"

Steve slightly shook his head in embarrassment. "Not too bad."

"Steve." Now it was Duke who shook his head. "I need your injuries for the report anyway. So?"

Steve sighed and then told about his injuries. "Broken nose… maybe a mild concussion, they at least won't rule it out… but that's not why I have to stay here," he added.

"No? Why are they keeping you over-night?"

"Because I was tased, twice. I was unconscious for a few minutes and they want to make sure that I don't develop any arrhythmia," Steve explained.

"Those are some serious injuries…"

"I wouldn't call them serious," Steve interrupted, playing it down.

"If a fracture is involved it is categorized as serious. You know that, Steve. Don't play down… this," he said and motioned to Steve's head. "You could have suffered serious damage."

"I know," Steve sighed and leaned his head back. The nausea again reared its ugly head.

"Are you OK?" Duke asked in worry.

"Uh huh, I'll be fine," he answered, pushing down on the byproduct of the more and more obvious concussion. As mild as it may be, it was still messing with his stomach.

"So, what do you remember? Tell me what happened," Duke said and took his notepad out to take Steve's statement.

"It's really not much. I had just finished my run around Diamond Head and was back at Kapiolani Park, when I heard a woman's voice from behind a, what I think was a yellow Lincoln Continental, an old model. Apparently she had dropped her purse so I went over to help gather her things. Next thing I know is searing pain in my side and then I was hitting the damn car and then face first the ground."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. I was kind of dazed. More though than you would think from such a short contact," Steve mused. "Anyway, when I tried to get back up, she hit me again with that damn pink stun gun. Who the hell makes them in pink?"

"I've heard about those," Duke said and motioned for Steve to continue.

"Not much more I can tell you, Duke. I was out after the second hit. I came to a few minutes later when a father and his son found me. They brought me to the hospital. I was bleeding pretty heavily."

"So, that woman saw you unconscious and bleeding on the ground, and didn't even call the police? This is getting worse by the minute. I have had victims bleeding out from head wounds."

"I'm telling you, that old woman is a menace to society. What if she had assaulted someone else? Someone with a heart condition, or something?" Steve said in anger.

He was not just pissed that he had been knocked out by some little old lady, but more so that she didn't help him, or even cared about her victim when he had lain on the ground unconscious and heavily bleeding. He could have died.

"Do you have the number on the license plate?" Duke asked in hope.

"It has 808 in it, but that's all I can remember."

"That's a good start. It shouldn't be hard to find."

"Ah, fuck," Steve suddenly called out when a sneeze came out of the blue.

The pain was almost overwhelming, and the blood and gunk spewing out of his nose was just disgusting. Steve couldn't keep the groan in and felt his eyes watering. His vision grayed and the last he heard was Duke's call of alarm.

H50 – H50 – H50

The doctor and nurses rushed into the room, and Duke stepped out of the way. He had been shocked to watch Steve pass out. Steve had sneezed and a couple of seconds later his eyes went wide and unfocused. Duke wasn't sure what had happened, he first thought the sudden pain had knocked him out, but when the nurses came into the room… an alarm had gone off behind Steve's bed and a 'code blue' had been called out.

Hectic activity followed, at least it looked like that to Duke when Steve was laid flat and a short orange board was pushed under his upper body. A mask was placed over his mouth and nose and the nurse immediately started pushing air into his lungs.

That was when Duke realized that his friend had just 'died'.

Another nurse slathered a tube of gel across Steve's chest before the doctor called out, "Charge 300," while holding the paddles ready over Steve's exposed chest.

Duke watched as the shock went through the commander, making him only minimally twitch on the bed, nothing like the dramatic shocks he had seen on TV.

Everyone watched the monitor behind the bed as it immediately started beeping in a normal tone again, not the horrible wailing sound from just a few seconds ago.

"We have a normal rhythm," the doctor said and put the paddles back on the crash-cart.

He then turned his attention to Steve and tried to rouse him. "Commander, come on, can you wake up?" he called and gently shook his shoulder.

They heard a gurgling sound and were quick to put him back up into an almost sitting position, the doctor once again attempting to wake him.

Duke was finally relieved to see two eyes blinking open and looking around the room.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve looked around in total confusion. One second he had been talking to Duke and the next he was surrounded by a medical team tending to him.

"What happened?" He asked focusing on the doctor standing closest to him.

"You went into ventricular fibrillation. Don't worry, you'll be fine. We expected this to happen and were prepared for it," the doctor told him.

"What?"

"Your heartbeat went to over 400 beats per minutes, keeping it from doing its job…"

"I know what it means, but why? I feel fine," Steve said and only now realized that his nose was still bleeding and that he could taste blood in his throat, making him gag.

Before Doctor Akina could answer he stepped back to let the nurse tend to the heavy bleeding.

"Ow," Steve grunted when one of the nurses pressed a bit too enthusiastically on his hurting nose. "Watch it."

"Sorry," she said and used more gauze to stop the bleeding.

"I think we need to cauterize, or pack it after all," the young doc piped up again.

"Ugh," Steve mumbled and looked wearily at all the equipment around him. The crash-cart still stood next to his bed, and he could feel the sticky gel on his chest they used while shocking him back into a normal rhythm. Which brought his thoughts back to his earlier question. "Why did I pass out?"

"Well, Commander, in easy terms you flat-lined. Even if your heart didn't stop beating," the doctor added. "The heart is a muscle that contracts in a specific way. The muscles follow a wave, so to speak. Now imagine something disrupting this wave, like the electrical current you received earlier. The wave suddenly gets more than one signal and goes into all directions from the added stress," Doctor Akina further elaborated. "That can go either way; it either finds its normal rhythm again without problem… or it doesn't. In your case, it accelerated to total chaos, which is rather common in people who have received an electric shock. The heart muscles contract in an uncoordinated way and with high speed. That prevents the heart from pumping any blood. Untreated it leads to death in a matter of minutes."

"Uh huh," Steve mumbled. He knew all that, but he still wondered why it happened to him. He was healthy, damn it.

"There is no way to tell whether it will happen or not, that's why we keep every patient in the ICU for twenty-four hours after an accident involving electricity. We need to see that Taser though because normally they don't cause such serious problems in healthy people." He glanced at the monitor to the side of Steve's bed, confirming the reading. "But you don't have to worry, your heart is back in a normal rhythm, and I don't expect any complications."

"I can leave tomorrow?"

"I don't see why not."

"Good," Steve said and hissed again when the nurse again touched his tender nose. He looked up and for the first time saw Duke standing by the sliding glass door. He looked rather shell shocked. "Duke, you OK?"

Steve watched him step closer and offer a grim smile when his face morphed into one of total determination.

"I promise we will get that woman and take her off the streets," Duke said with anger in his voice. "I'm glad you're OK, Steve."

"Thanks, Duke."

"I'll call as soon as I know anything," Duke said and motioned to his notes. "I'll get started on this. Take care, Steve," he said his good-bye.

"So, doc, about that cauterization…" Steve looked at his doctor after Duke had left.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Saturday evening**_

Miss Petunia sat on the love seat on her screened-in lanai with a throw pillow hugged closely in her lap. Her calico cat, Daisy was curled up next to her on the small sofa. Petunia could not stop shaking, realizing that she had come quite close to being assaulted today. Or worse, kidnapped, with her body disposed of; never to be found. Of course, she reasoned, that at age 79, the term 'kid'napped was being used rather loosely.

Regardless, she knew she was lucky to be in one piece and have all her belongings back. But the scene kept playing over and over in her head. That mean man first took her apple and then her purse. She was lucky that the first thing she had picked up had been the Taser.

Lucky for her… not so lucky for her attacker. She could still hear his voice but whatever he was going to say was cut off when she stunned him with a jab in the side of his sweaty shirt. That was the first time she had seen the little pink gun in action, but it had certainly worked. The man had looked at her wide-eyed in surprise when his knees began to buckle. Miss Petunia's intention was to stun him so that she could get away. The fact that he hit the car wasn't her fault. She didn't intend for that to happen. Enoka would be so irate if he could see the car now… it had been his pride and joy. And that man's hard head had put a dent right in the middle of the fender!

She hadn't intended to wreck the car, but it had served him right! She was only protecting herself from a man three times her size.

Well, maybe twice… or closer to one and a half times her size. But he was hot, muddy and sweaty and surely up to no good waiting for her to appear in the parking lot like that. Petunia felt quite justified in her actions of that morning. A woman of her age had to take care of herself. She had no one else to do so. After Enoka had died, she realized she was alone. No children or nieces and nephews to help watch over her. Daisy was all she had… and Daisy wasn't much good at being an attack cat! No, Petunia thanked her lucky stars that she had been quick enough to take down her attacker.

Petunia rose from her seat and made her way into the house, ensuring that all the doors were locked as she went. Although she knew, after the day she had had, sleep would never come that night.

H50 – H50 – H50

After the day he had had, Steve knew sleep would never come. It wasn't every day that a person woke up after having his heart shocked back into rhythm.

After that episode, the nurse had come back and given him something for pain and she had brought a cold pack for his face. It was made of a soft material with gel inside and while it did feel good lying over his eyes and bridge of his nose, hopefully minimizing the swelling, the weight still hurt his nose and face. And those pain meds didn't really seem to be doing anything. In addition to the pain, he found it irritating to have to breathe through his mouth. Sure he did it all the time with a scuba tank strapped to his back, it was second nature. But this was different. And he didn't like it one bit knowing that there were pieces of gauze stuffed up there. From the way the doctor had pushed and shoved it into place, Steve was convinced it would take less gauze to wrap a mummy.

 _Maybe that's what he should do_. Wrap gauze around his head so no one could see. Steve had gotten a good look at his face earlier when he was allowed up to go to the restroom before he was supposed to settle for the night. With the EKG leads securely attached to his chest again. Although he had to admit that somehow the low beeping from the monitor was kind of reassuring and calming. He had looked like a raccoon with black rings around the eyes and a huge bruise on his forehead, but smack in the middle of his face was a big, red nose. At least that's what it had looked like to him. And then he was told that it would probably take two weeks for his black eyes to heal. Who knew what he would look like before this was over.

So much for looking like a professional. A professional clown, maybe.

And it was all _**her**_ fault. That little lady with the ugly hat. And huge purse. With a pink Taser.

Who the hell makes Tasers in pink?

They were made to be instruments for those in authority to subdue suspects… _**not**_ for little old ladies to run around tasing innocent bystanders. Especially one who was trying to do a good deed.

Steve closed his eyes to try and ease the headache, but he continued to play out what had happened in his head. Was he that menacing looking? All he had wanted to do was help her pick up her things that had fallen.

Had he done something that seemed threatening? For all his life, he had been taught to be courteous. The Navy had continued to drill that into him and it was something that came naturally.

 _Maybe I'll rethink that trait_ , he grimly thought to himself. His head was beginning to pound again and his nose throbbed with each blip of the EKG that was making noise above his right shoulder. He didn't know what time it was, but the cold pack had been on and off twice and they had said 30 minutes on every three hours. After six hours, that meant it was sometime after midnight.

And surely time for another hit of pain meds. He was becoming a damn junkie, but right now he didn't care. Steve laid there trying to relax hoping the pain in his head would subside. He wasn't going to push the red button to call the nurse. That would just be too needy. She would be in soon.

He hoped. If he had another hit of pain meds, he could just go to sleep and everything would be better.

Only Steve didn't sleep.

Once he was almost there, but a noise outside his door startled him awake again. When he jerked, the movement jarred his aching head and it began beating in time with his heart. To add more insult, his stomach had also done a flip and now was churning. He hadn't had anything to eat since his early breakfast so he knew if there was something in there, it wouldn't be pretty.

He didn't have long to contemplate his stomach when he heard the door slide open. He cracked open his swollen eyes and blearily looked at the night nurse in the dimmed light.

"Sorry," she whispered when she found him awake. "I need to get your vitals and check the IV."

"Wasn't asleep," he told her.

"How do you feel?"

"Like crap," he bit out.

"I bet. You look like you're ready for more pain meds." She noted his temperature then checked all the readings on the beeping machine before touching a couple buttons on the IV stand. "It's time for the cold pack again and the doctor ordered one more bag of saline and pain meds. How are you feeling otherwise?" "Uh…" Steve grimaced, hating himself.

"What do you need?" she asked.

"Stomach doesn't feel so good," he admitted. "And I don't wanna puke."

"I don't blame you," she told him. "The doctor left an order for nausea meds, too. I'll be right back with everything."

She was back, as promised and quickly went to work, first replacing the bag of fluids and then adding the pain med to the line. "That should begin working quickly. Dr. Miles ordered a stronger dose if you needed it and it looks like you needed more." She moved to the room's corner sink and came back with an emesis basin.

Steve was convinced he would keep down his stomach contents. That was until he saw that ugly pink, kidney shaped bowl. She set it on the bed and uncapped the syringe, pulling aside the sheet to reach his backside. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if you've had drainage down your throat all afternoon, it needs to come back up."

Steve swallowed thickly. Which wasn't an easy task when you couldn't swallow and breathe at the same time. He pushed himself up and grabbed the bowl just in time to catch the hot liquid that had been churning in his stomach. He didn't know how long it took, but by the time he was finished dry heaving, he was lying on his side in the bed, shaking from exhaustion. His face was wet and he didn't know if his eyes were watering from the exertion or if he was crying from pain. If he had to guess, he would choose the latter because he had been convinced his face would explode.

He felt a soft rag blotting around his mouth and heard the nurse's voice. "I know that was awful, but its good you got rid of all that gunk. Maybe now you can relax and sleep. I'm going to move the head of the bed so lie still."

She eased the bed upward before she spoke again. "Here's water to rinse out your mouth. This will help you feel better."

Steve reached out a shaky hand to take the cup but she still helped him guide it to his mouth to keep from spilling it. "Now spit." When he had complied, she positioned the head of the bed at a better angle and fixed his pillows before placing the cold pack on his eyes. "Just try and relax. Let the meds do their job."

"Learned somethin' tonight," Steve said, a soft slur in his voice.

"And what's that?"

"Ya can't puke and breathe at the same time unless you have a nose."

"I can understand that," she said with a smile, while rubbing his shoulder. "Can I get you anything else?"

"Nah m'good. But tomorrow I'm gonna go find the little witch who did this to me…"

Contrary to his previous thought, Steve slept.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Sunday morning**_

 _Petunia picked up her pillow and arranged her purse on her arm before closing the trunk. The car was wet from the recent rain and her hand slipped, causing her to drop her purse onto the asphalt._

" _Oh, Fudge!" she said, while closing the trunk. She bent down to begin picking up all her belongings when a hand… a hand with_ _ **her**_ _purse… came into her line of sight._

 _Here you go. Let me—_

 _Here you go…_

Petunia startled awake after hearing the voice. But she calmed down when she saw that Daisy was still asleep. No one was in the room with her. She lay there and willed her heart to stop pitter-pattering away in her chest. She had been dreaming… which proved to her that she really had fallen asleep after her horrible ordeal of yesterday.

 _Here you go…_

There was the voice again. _Here you go. Let me-_

She was hearing the man's voice. Now he was even giving her nightmares. Well, her sleep was over for the night. That much she did know! She pounded her pillows and propped herself up against her massive headboard, disturbing Daisy who was not ready for morning. The cat's green eyes glared at her before she turned around and once again curled into a ball.

 _Here you go…_

Wait a minute, Petunia thought to herself, then began speaking out loud to the cat. "Why would he say 'here you go' to me? He already had my purse. It's almost like he was going to give it back… Daisy, that can't be right. Can it? What if he was planning to hand it to me?"

 _Let me—_

" 'Let me' what? 'Let me' take all your things? A thief wouldn't say that. Unless he was a gentleman. And this man was certainly no gentleman. No, ma'am! Large, sweaty muscles in his arms and legs with both arms covered in tattoos. I tell you, Daisy, he was a hoodlum. He was sweaty and muddy and dressed just like a vagrant. And he was old enough to know better… he was much older than those hooligans in the market. Only…"

She pondered the words her 'attacker' had spoken. And after playing them over again and again in her mind, her eyes widened in shock. Petunia swung her legs to the side of the bed, causing Daisy to jump from her slumber and run into the next room. Petunia began to pace the floor, her short steps tapping on the tile flooring.

"Oh, dear me," she mumbled to herself, one hand over her mouth. _Here you go… Let me…_ "He wanted to help. What if he really did want to help me? What have I done?"

Petunia glanced at the clock and then hurried into the den to turn on the TV to catch the early morning news. Maybe there would be a story of a dead man in Kapiolani Park. What if he had died? She would be to blame.

She had tased a man who was trying to help her. And not only did she do it once, she tased him twice. _And_ watched him splat on the parking lot face first.

 _Oh, Lordy, the blood,_ Miss Petunia thought. _That poor man probably bled to death right on that spot._ "What will I do? I'm too old to go to jail. Besides, I would look hideous in orange… they would have to give me a pink jumpsuit." she prattled on to Daisy who thought it was safe to join her in the den. "I'm a cold-blooded murderer. And…" she thought to herself, shaking her head. "He did have such pretty eyes, and such a nice voice. And the longest eyelashes. Daisy, what am I going to do?"

H50 – H50 – H50

"Commander, good morning," Dr. Akina greeted his patient shortly before noon when he made his rounds. "I heard your night wasn't so good?"

"It was fine," Steve grumbled. He had waited patiently for the doc to show up and release him. Five-0 had gotten a call that morning and he needed to get to work. He had told Chin he would be late, but he hadn't realized he would be _**this**_ late.

"Uh huh. Well, let me check the packing real quick, and if the heart guys OK it you can leave in a couple of hours."

Steve wearily watched the doctor approaching; he wasn't looking forward to getting his nose touched again. It continued to hurt and his head didn't feel much better yet either. He had been sick again after a meager breakfast, and ever since puking his guts out his nose was more painful than the night before. And to add insult to injury, his face was much more colorful than the previous day.

After pressing on his nose and sinuses, the doctor concluded, "I think we should keep the packing for another twenty four hours. Commander, if it starts bleeding again, we will have to cauterize it."

"It won't," Steve confidently said. He didn't want a damn laser in his nose. He had had that once, and that was one time too many.

"As I said, we will try it your way, but I still think it would be better…"

"No. It will be fine."

"Fine. It's your nose," Akina grumbled, obviously not happy with his stubborn patient.

Steve had to grin. He knew there was no danger in not agreeing to the 'laser treatment', or he would have opted for it. But he really wanted to try the traditional approach first; not that it was pleasant to have all that stuff up his nose, but it was still better than the alternative.

"May I ask why you are so against the cauterization?" Dr. Akina asked.

Steve thought a moment what to answer, but then opted for the truth. "I had it done once, and I couldn't take the smell of burning flesh. I know it's ridiculous, it doesn't smell… but it reminded me of…"

"It's OK, Commander," the doctor interrupted, obviously understanding the problem. "I'm sure we can take the packing out tomorrow and it will be fine."

"Thank you."

After a light lunch, which he thankfully kept down, the 'heart guys' showed up and cleared him to be discharged.

One of the nurses was nice enough to provide him underwear and scrubs to wear. His tee-shirt might be wearable after a few cycles in the washer… or maybe never again. His running shorts also had dried blood on them, so, now clad in light blue scrubs and wearing his running shoes he was ready to leave.

"Thank you for the clothes," he told the nurse when he was handed his walking papers.

"You're welcome. Please remember to see an ENT specialist tomorrow, or come back here to get the packing removed. Don't do it yourself," the nurse warned him.

"I won't." Steve had no intention of touching his still hurting nose any time soon, and he for sure wasn't planning to pull all that darn gauze out of there.

"I will call for an orderly and a wheelchair as soon as your ride gets here," the nurse told him.

"I can walk," Steve assured her. "My truck is in the lot."

"You drove yourself here?" she asked.

"No, a couple of good Samaritans helped me out and one drove my truck," Steve replied, hoping that the man had remembered to jot down his phone number so he could properly thank them. "But I'll be fine. I'll just head home."

"Well, if you're sure to go straight home and rest, I'll go call transport now," she replied. "You may be able to drive yourself home, but you still aren't walking out of ICU on your own."

"Yes, ma'am," Steve replied, neglecting to mention that once he got home and had changed his clothes, he was headed for HPD to see if there was any information on the crazy woman or her yellow car.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Sunday afternoon**_

"Did Steve say why he would be late?" Grover asked Chin after setting his things in his office.

Chin looked up from the computer table and shook his head. "No, but he sounds like he has a cold. He's all nasally. He just told me to see what I could find out about the murder victim while he is checking something with Duke over at HPD. Steve said it was odd, he had made the same run around Diamond Head just yesterday morning."

"Morning news said this guy and his buddies, visiting from Oregon, got there sometime last night. The others got tired of hiking and went back to Kapiolani Park, but this one refused to go with them. They also said when they left, he was fine as could be."

"And yet, an hour later, he was found on the rocks below the trail," Chin said. "We're still waiting on his tox report; maybe that will explain some things. Something doesn't add up."

"Tell me about it. Danny coming in?"

"No, Danny is at cheer camp with Grace, he has the weekend off. I thought we might wait before we call him in."

"You know, you _can_ drop off your kid at those things," Grover grumbled.

"You know that and *I* know that, but Danny has trouble letting go," Chin said with a laugh.

"Ya think?"

"Oh, by the way, Kono says "Hi". She and Adam are leaving Prague for Berlin today," Chin told about his earlier phone call.

"That is quite the honeymoon. Rome - Prague - Berlin - Paris - London. They'll be back next week?"

"Yeah, they'll catch a flight from London via Chicago. You should have asked her to bring you some pizza," Chin told his friend laughing.

They both turned when the double doors opened and Officer Pua escorted an elderly lady into their office. "Excuse me," the policeman said, "but Mrs. Iwalani would like to speak to Five-0. She wants to report a crime."

"Thanks, Pua," Chin replied. He moved into the closest office and retrieved a chair. "Auntie, have a seat. What can we do for you?"

"Wait," Grover said, pointing to Chin. "She's related to you?"

Chin smiled, first at Mrs. Iwalani and then at Grover. "No, but it is a sign of Hawaiian respect to call your elders "Auntie" or "Uncle".

"Ah, that's nice," Lou said with a smile. "Back in Chicago, I've got a neighborhood of 'aunties' then. Now, how may we help you?" he asked and leaned against the computer.

"Oh, dear, I just don't know where to begin."

"How about with your name and address," Chin prompted.

"Yes, yes, of course. You would need that. My name is Inez Petunia Iwalani and I live at 455 Kiwalo Street. I'm here today to turn myself in. I do believe I murdered someone."

"Say what?" Grover asked with a shake of his head.

"I was listening to the news this morning and that man who was found near Kapiolani Park. Tell me, did he have tattoos on his arms?"

Chin nodded. "Yes, ma'am, he did."

"And how was he dressed?" she asked.

"Shorts and a tee shirt. May I ask why?"

"Oh, dear me, I was afraid of that. You see… I'm the one who killed him."

Chin glanced at Grover and asked the lady to accompany them to the conference room. "We'll be more comfortable in here," he told her.

"Would you like some water or a coffee?" Grover asked.

"Oh, a water would be very nice. You both are such dears."

Once they were seated, Chin began, "Now Mrs. Iwalani—"

"Please, you can call me Miss Petunia. That's what my husband used to call me and now my friends… or the ones who are still alive… all call me that."

"All right, Miss Petunia, can you tell us about this crime?"

"Yes, of course. I suppose I should start at the beginning."

"Yes, ma'am," Grover agreed. "Please do."

"Yesterday, I was going to sit in the park after the rain shower and while I was getting things out of the trunk, I dropped my purse. When I reached down to pick my things up, that man was standing there and he was holding my purse. I thought he was stealing it, so I used my Taser on him," she explained.

"Wait," Chin said, leaning forward in his seat. "You carry a Taser?"

"Yes, I do, young man! I was the victim of a theft a few months ago and I vowed that no one would take advantage of me again."

"Do you have it with you today?" Grover asked. "May we see it?"

"Of course," she told them and placed her purse on her lap and began to rifle through the contents. "It's here somewhere," she muttered and set her wallet on the table.

"Ma'am… Miss Petunia," Chin began. "Is that blood?" he asked, staring at the hummingbird wallet.

"Oh, yes, of course it is. The thief fell on it. In all the turmoil last night, I forgot to clean it."

"We might need to get some DNA off that wallet before you place it back into your purse."

"Well, all right, but it's my favorite so I will get it back, won't I?" she asked.

"Yes, of course."

"Ah! Here it is," she said and pulled out the pink Taser.

"May I?" Grover asked, reaching for it.

"Of course. Isn't it pretty? I couldn't believe the store had one in pink."

"What store did it come from?" Chin asked.

"Kehiaki Pawn on North King," she proudly told them. "I asked for the top of the line. It's a nice one, isn't it?"

"I'm sure it is," Chin patiently explained. "But it is also illegal. HPD has raided that store at least twice in the last few months for selling items that don't meet safety codes. In fact, one Taser bought there killed a young man a few weeks ago."

"Oh, dear. And now I've killed another."

"Why don't you finish your story," Grover prompted. "You said the man had your purse."

"Yes, he did and he also had my apple. I don't know why… maybe he was hungry. He started talking to me, but I rammed that Taser right into his side and he just shut up talking. I know I startled him because his eyes got really wide… did I mention that he had really pretty eyes?"

"Uh, no ma'am," Chin said, attempting to hide his grin.

"And the longest eyelashes I've ever seen on a man," she added with a shake of her head. "Anyway, his eyes got real big and he began dropping to his knees. The apple dropped out of his hand and I grabbed for my purse before he could drop it on the ground again. But when he fell, he smacked his forehead right on the fender of my car. And you should see the car… he put a dent in it… oh, my late husband is probably turning over in his grave as we speak. He loved that car."

"So, you tased the suspect and then he hit his head on your car when he fell?" Grover surmised.

"That's right. And then he fell smack on the asphalt," she told them, clapping her hands together for sound effects. "Face first. That had to hurt. And immediately I saw the blood. That's when I realized he was lying on my hummingbird wallet," she said, poking at it on the table. "He sure made a mess of it, didn't he? When I was trying to get it back, he started mumbling and tried to move, so that's when I tased him in the shoulder."

"You tased him again?" Chin asked, making notes on his pad.

"Well, yes, I didn't want him waking up and attacking me. I'm sure he would have been very mad at that point."

"Exactly where did this occur?" Grover asked.

"In the parking lot of Kapiolani Park. I grabbed all my things and got out of there as quickly as I could."

"And you didn't call 911 or ask anyone for help?" Chin asked.

"No… no, I didn't. Huh. At the time, it never occurred to me. I just wanted to get away from that man. Looking back on it now, I should have called when I got home. Or stopped and told someone… I don't have one of those portable phone things that is attached to everyone's hand. So, is that where you found him?"

"No, the body that was found was on the other side of the crater. Off a trail."

"I suppose he could have wandered that direction," she said. "I didn't tell you the rest of the story, did I?"

"There's more?" Lou asked.

"Yes… but first, I have a question. When you go to jail, do you get to pick out the color of that jumpsuit everyone has to wear? Because most people have orange and I just can't wear orange. Why does that TV show say 'orange is the new black' when hardly no one looks good in orange? And I do hope they have a tailor because of course, mine would need to be hemmed since I'm so short…"

Grover suddenly had a coughing fit and had to turn his head while Chin's eyes began to water from holding back his laughter.

"Several things need to happen before anyone goes to jail," Chin assured her. "But please continue."

"Well, when I went to bed last night, I just knew I wouldn't sleep. But sometime this morning, I woke up after a nightmare. And I kept hearing a voice. That man's voice. And," she bowed her head, playing with the handles of her purse. "I think I made an awful mistake."

"How so?" Lou asked her.

"What he said… his exact words were 'Here you go. Let me'—"

" 'Let me' what," Chin prodded.

"I don't know. But what if he was planning to help me gather up my belongings and I killed him instead? Is that murder or manslaughter? I watch all the cop shows on TV but I can never keep track."

"Miss Petunia, what time did this occur yesterday?"

"Well, now let me see. It was after the morning shower, so it was close to noon, I would suppose. I didn't think to look at my watch."

"Then maybe you are off the hook for killing this man. You see, the person who died arrived at the park last night with some friends."

"So… I didn't kill him?" she asked, a half smile on her face.

"No, ma'am, you didn't," Grover told her. "But now… about the other poor man. We need to talk about this Taser of yours…"

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve parked his truck in his space in the parking lot, turned off the key and sat inside. He had driven home from the hospital but by the time he had gotten inside the house he had felt like he had run a marathon. He was dizzy and his legs felt like jelly before he made it to the couch to sit down. Breathing through the mouth was hard work. Especially when his nose was plugged and his head felt ready to explode.

But he was on a mission and after giving himself a twenty minute break, he trudged up the stairs to change. He knew he needed a shower, but didn't think he had the stamina for it. While he was upright and mobile it was best to get to work.

But after arriving at HQ he sat in the truck, willing himself to move. The dizziness wasn't constant but assaulted him without notice. His stomach still wasn't as steady as he would like either, but Steve knew if he took any of the meds, he wouldn't be worth anything. And there was a murder to solve.

And a little woman with a Taser to locate. He planned to visit Duke before heading into headquarters, so with a sigh, he blinked back the dizziness and climbed down from the cab.

He turned to go toward HPD and spied Duke across the side street, checking out a yellow Lincoln Continental.

Bingo.

Duke had managed to find the car and bring in his assailant. Feeling much better, Steve headed in the sergeant's direction to find out the details.

"Steve!" Duke said upon seeing him. "Should you be here?"

"I've got a job to do, Duke. And speaking of, looks like you did yours. I can't believe you found her so quickly."

"That's the thing. I put out a bulletin on the car yesterday and a few minutes ago one of our officers came in and said the car was parked out on the street. I ran the plates and it is registered to one Enoka Iwalani. Unfortunately Mr. Iwalani is deceased, so I don't know who the driver is. Or where she is. I ran a background and he was married to Inez Iwalani. We canvassed HPD and didn't locate her, so she may be somewhere in the Palace or a surrounding building."

"Well, let's go look," Steve suggested. "I need to check in with Chin."

"How are you really feeling?" Duke asked as he turned to follow Steve.

"I'm fine, Duke," he assured the sergeant.

"Yes, Steve. You look it."

"Sergeant, do I detect sarcasm in your voice?"

"Not at all, Commander" Lukela grinned at him.

They walked past security and heads continued to turn the farther they went into the building. "I feel like a damn freak show," Steve muttered as he headed toward the stairs to the second floor.

Duke snagged his sleeve. "Hey, do me a favor and take the elevator with me. I'm an old man, Steve."

"The hell you are," Steve said but followed him toward the elevator. They waited for the doors to open and Steve suffered the shocked looks from everyone getting off the elevator before they could get in and have the doors closed. But he had to grin when he heard a young voice pipe up, "Hey, Momma, did you see…" before being shushed by his mother. The boy and Steve held a staring contest until the elevator doors closed.

H50 – H50 – H50

Grover glanced up when the doors opened. "Holy moley!" he exclaimed. "What happened to him?"

Both Chin and Miss Petunia turned that direction to see Steve and Duke enter the office area.

Chin looked at Steve in surprise, observing his bruised eyes and forehead and lines of pain on his face.

Petunia stood up and looked out the slats of the blinds. "That's him!" she exclaimed. "That's the man who took my purse. I'm so glad he's not dead but how did that nice police officer know to arrest him?"

"Just a moment, Miss Petunia. That man is Steve McGarrett—"

"So you _**know**_ him. Is he a habitual felon?"

Grover chortled with laughter. "No ma'am," he assured her. "He is the head of Five-0."

"The head… no, that's just silly," she told them. "Why, he was out running around in shorts and a dirty shirt like a normal ragamuffin. I must be mistaken then, that can't possibly be the same man." She took another look. "But still, it looks like him…"

"And," Grover added. "He sure looks like he face planted into something. We'll get him in here…"

"Oh, dear me, no, don't do that," she pleaded. "I'm sure he is none too happy with me."

"But, Miss Petunia," Chin pointed out, "you used a Taser… twice… on an officer of the law. That is considered assault. We do need to have a discussion about you and your Taser use."

She sat back down in her seat and asked in a quivery voice, "So, I might still be in trouble?"

H50 – H50 – H50

Grover left Chin to console Miss Petunia while he headed toward Steve and Duke. He couldn't help the grin on his face even though he could tell his friend was hurting.

"Not a word, Lou," Steve told his friend with a glare.

Lou held out his hands in surrender. "OK, I won't say anything other than it looks like you need to be home with a steak on your face. Why didn't you call us?"

"Everyone had the day off and I didn't want to bother you," Steve explained. "Besides, I'm fine. But Duke's helping me look for the person who did this to me. Believe it or not, her car is in our lot."

"Hmm… is she maybe about yay high?" he asked, holding his hand at waist level. "Carrying a big pink purse with a lethal Taser inside?"

Steve tried to knit his brows together, but that small movement was beyond his skill without bringing tears to his eyes. "How the hell did you know that?"

Grover held out his arm toward the conference room in a sweeping motion. "Allow me to make introductions."

"She's here?" Steve hissed.

"Commander, if you wish, I can take care of it from here," Lukela said. "You can go home…"

"No, I wanna see this wi—woman," Steve called out, clearly with vile in his voice. "And _**then**_ you can arrest her."

"Arrest? Steve are you sure you want to put her in the pokey? She's just a little—"

Steve pointed to his nose and growled. " _ **Look**_ at this. She's just a little old menace is what she is and needs to be taken out of society."

"OK, calm down," Lou said, heading back to the conference room. "But if she does end up in jail, I am personally buying her a pink jumpsuit to wear," he mumbled just loud enough under his breath.

"Huh?"

"Just sayin," Grover replied with a grin as he opened the door. "Miss Petunia, I'd like you to meet Sgt. Duke Lukela of HPD and Commander Steve McGarrett, the leader of Five-0. But I believe you two have already met?"

Steve remained as close to the door as he could and only glared at his 'assailant'.

Petunia slowly raised her head to stare into Steve's eyes. "Oh, dear me. Did I do all that?"

He started to nod but realized that would ratchet the pounding in his head up a few notches. "Yeah, you did. Care to explain yourself?"

"She—" Grover began as he returned to his seat.

"Ah!" Steve held up his hand. "I would prefer to hear this explanation from her." He didn't take his eyes off Petunia and she began nervously twisting her purse's handles in her hands under his death glare.

"Are you really the head of Five-0?"

"Yes, I am." He leaned against the door frame and waited.

"I thought you… well, I assumed… I mean…," she stuttered, but then she sat up straight and pointed her finger at him. "You know, you really should dress more appropriately when you are out and about. Then maybe people wouldn't think you were a thief."

"Hold it. So… this is _**my**_ fault?" He angrily shook his head and regretted that action instantly when mini explosions went off inside. His groan sounded more like a growl and he saw with satisfaction that his attacker shrunk into herself a little.

"Well, no not really. But when I saw you, I thought you were going to attack me and I… maybe I sort of overreacted a bit," Miss Petunia finally admitted.

Which was obviously the wrong thing to say. "Overreacted? A bit? You _**tased**_ me!" Steve called out and held up the corner of his shirt so that the small, circular angry red mark was visible. " _ **Twice**_. And all I did was pick up your purse to hand it to you."

"I realized that when I woke up this morning. I heard your voice, but I knew it was a nightmare since you didn't wake up Daisy, and then I realized you were going to say 'let me help'. But I didn't give you the chance."

"No, you didn't, did you? And because of that, I just spent the night in ICU."

"Steve!" Chin said, turning his head and staring in shock. "You didn't mention that. Were you there when we talked this morning?"

He raised one shoulder and began to speak when he was interrupted by Duke. "Ma'am, I witnessed the doctors having to restart the commander's heart yesterday afternoon. I assure you, this is a very serious offense."

Both Chin and Lou glared at Steve with twin looks that said " _you had better give us the full story",_ but he refused to meet their eyes.

"Well," Chin surmised, turning back around. "Miss Petunia, we need to address the issue of your Taser use."

"Yes, Sir," she said, once again looking at her purse. "Young man," she glanced at Steve before quickly concentrating on the purse handles again. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry. And I thought those things just stunned people. I didn't realize they made burns like that."

Steve leaned over and reached for the Taser which was setting in the middle of the table and turned it over in his hands. "You should be sorry. These things aren't for amateurs. You could have killed me."

"May I ask a question? Exactly why did you come into Five-0 this morning?" Duke asked.

"I wanted to… well, I thought…"

"Miss Petunia was turning herself in for the murder of our victim at Diamond Head," Chin offered on her behalf.

Duke looked at the younger officer and decided enough was enough. He looked at Chin and Grover. "May I converse with you two outside, please?" His tone and take-charge manner led them all to believe he meant business. "Commander, you can join us if you wish."

Having no desire to spend any alone time with his assailant, Steve was the first out the door.

Grover stood up and said, "Miss Petunia, excuse us but we'll be right back."

Once the men had reached the computer table, Duke turned on them. "Captain Grover, do you not understand," he pointed in the direction of the conference room, "that that woman almost killed Steve?"

"Well, I understand she used the Taser but she didn't mean to kill anyone."

"I watched the doctors shock him so that his heart would start beating again," the sergeant told them.

"At which time you couldn't have let us know what had happened?" Chin asked Duke, looking from him to Steve.

Duke calmed down a bit and glanced at Steve with an accusing look. "Had I known that the commander was in the hospital with no one knowing, I would have done so."

"Come on, guys," Steve said. "I'm fine."

"Now you might be fine," Grover said. "Yesterday it sounds like you were fine and dead."

"Which is my point exactly," Duke continued. "While that nice little woman may have charmed you two, what she did was inexcusable. She needs to be punished according to the law. Steve asked me to find her and now that I have, I intend to book her."

"But she turned herself in," Chin reminded them.

"Because she thought she killed someone else," Lukela said. "I'm sorry but our streets would be safer if she was out of commission."

"Steve?" Grover asked, watching the emotions play across his battered face.

He looked first at Grover and then at Chin. He valued their opinions, but he had made his decision. "I'm with Duke," he wearily told them. Seeing the disbelief on their faces he continued. "Look, it's probably not her fault that she bought an illegal Taser and that her actions had such serious consequences. I can see that, even though she shouldn't have tased me in the first place," Steve said and held up his hand to ward off Lou who wanted to interrupt. "But when her victim… when _**I**_ lay on the ground, unconscious, concussed and heavily bleeding she should have called 911. It was clear as day that I was in trouble, that I needed help," Steve said and paused to let it sink in. "I almost died. My luck was that I coded in the ICU and not in the parking lot. If I had… we wouldn't be having this conversation now." Steve looked at Lou and Chin and finally saw something other than amusement. "Trust me," he said and motioned to his still fiercely hurting head, "this is not funny from where I stand. She needs consequences to her actions." He looked at Duke and added, "Thanks for taking care of this. Book her, Duke." With a sigh he pushed himself away from the computer. "I'm going to my office."

The men watched as he closed his office door and sank into the chair behind his desk.

"Chin, I would have called if I had known Steve was at the hospital by himself," Duke said.

"I know you would have," Chin replied. "But that's Steve. And Duke, I understand that you think you're doing the right thing," he added, "but I just don't feel comfortable leaving that little woman in holding."

Lukela nodded. "I understand. But I don't feel comfortable with her running around the island with a Taser. I also understand if you two would rather make yourself scarce while I escort her out."

"No, I'm coming with," Grover told him. "I understand your reasoning, but she's gonna need a little moral support. And, Duke, can we please do this without handcuffs?"

"Yes, of course," Duke said with a roll of his eyes and a slight grin. "But for the record, if she makes a run for it, you're gonna chase her."

"I'm going to try and get Steve to go home," Chin said with a glance into Steve's office. "He looks about ready to crash."

"Good luck with that," Duke told him.

H50 – H50 – H50

Steve and Chin were at the computer going over the case of the real dead body at Diamond Head when Grover returned less than an hour later. He was carrying a set of keys with a large pink flamingo on the key ring.

"Like your style there, Lou," Chin said with a grin.

"I thought so," Grover replied, holding them up to look at the ring. "Miss Petunia doesn't have anyone to feed Miss Daisy," he explained.

"Who the hell is Daisy?" Steve growled. He was sick and tired of his team fawning all over that… woman.

"Daisy is a cat and she needs to be fed tonight," Grover explained. "I know you and Miss Petunia didn't get off on the right foot, but Steve she's really a sweet—"

Steve held up his hand. "Not in the mood," he warned. "My throbbing head is reminding me of just how 'sweet' she is. So you go on and feed her damn cat, but I'm not feeling sorry for her."

"All right," Grover conceded. "But since you're feeling so bad, why don't you go on home."

"Because we are down two people and have a murder to solve," Steve shot back.

"I tried," Chin said beneath his breath and shook his head at Grover saying "don't bother."

"When we're done here, Steve, you need to call Duke to formally press charges. Until that time, Miss Petunia is in holding."

"Will do." He started to say something else when his phone rang. "Fong, what do you have for us?" He hit the cue for the speaker and set the phone on the computer.

" _I've got DNA and a name to go with it,"_ Fong told them. _"It looks like there was someone with him before he went over the cliff. I'm sending everything to you now."_

"Good work," Steve said.

The case was solved by dinner time. The victim's brother's girlfriend showed up unannounced on the path and followed the group until the rest of the friends headed back to the park. When her amorous advances weren't reciprocated, she did the only thing she could think to do.

Pitch a fit and push him over the side of the mountain.

And she really could see no reason that her actions weren't justified because anyone in his or her right state of mind would want her. At least that was her line of reasoning.

"Let's go home," Steve said and sighed when HPD escorted her out to be booked.

"Yes, let's," Chin said and checked his watch. "With any luck, Leilani won't have given up on me."

"Chin you should have said something," Steve told him.

"No, like you said, we are down a couple of people. We're a team. I texted her earlier and she was cool with it. But if I hurry, we can make our reservation."

"Yeah, go," Steve told him, heading back to his office to grab his keys. "Lou, are you ready?"

"Yes," he replied, holding up the pink flamingo. "I have a date with Miss Daisy."

"Lucky you," Steve muttered.

On the way to the vehicles, Grover kept a watchful eye on Steve who seemed to be moving much slower than he had earlier. When he almost stumbled on the last step before reaching the sidewalk, Lou quickly grabbed Steve's arm to keep him from another face plant.

" 'm fine," Steve said and tried to remove his arm from Grover's beefy grip.

"You know, I've about had it with that word 'fine'," he retorted. "You are not fine and we both know it. Now, I'm gonna drive you home. You can sit in the truck and rest while I run in and feed the cat, but no arguments. No way in hell am I letting you drive."

"OK, OK," Steve agreed. "You can drive. Just quit yelling."

"Well, that was easy," Lou replied in shock as they headed toward his truck, passing Petunia's Lincoln.

"That's the devil car," Steve told him, glancing at the rear fender and seeing the dent. "Huh, wonder if I did that?"

"Oh, yes, Miss Petunia pointed out that her husband would be turning over in his grave if he knew his car had been dinged."

"Hell, she'll probably sue me for damages," Steve muttered when they reached Grover's truck.

Lou looked over the hood of the truck and grinned. "Nah, I don't think so. She said you had the prettiest eyelashes she had ever seen on a man."

Steve would have snorted if he had the use of his nose. "Yeah, they go so well with the two black eyes." He climbed into the cab and leaned back. "Man, I really do feel like shit."

"Tell me, does the doc know you came to work after being released from the hospital?"

"Um, that would be a negative."

"Thought so. Take a nap," he ordered and plugged in Petunia's address on the GPS. "This won't take long."

Steve opened his eyes when Grover slowed in the driveway of a rather nice house on a tree-lined street in a residential neighborhood. The yard was landscaped with tropical plants and trees and appeared very inviting.

"Be back in a jif," Grover said, getting out of the cab.

Steve hesitated, and then opened his door. "I'll come with you."

Lou opened the front door and walked inside with Steve following.

"Is there a security system?" Steve asked.

"She didn't mention one," Lou replied. "Guess we'll find out if the cops show up."

"She needs a security system," Steve mumbled, looking around the living area. "Man, this place hasn't been touched since the 60's. How can anyone live with this much pink?"

"Apparently it _**is**_ her signature color," Grover said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Not exactly my style. Now where is this cat?"

As if on cue, they saw Daisy standing up to stretch from her nap on the back of the sofa in the sun room on the opposite side of the kitchen.

"Hello, Kitty Cat, you hungry?" Grover asked as the cat sauntered across the floor to check them out. She sniffed at Grover's feet before moving to Steve where she proceeded to meow and weave in and out between his legs.

"Well, lookee there, she likes you," Lou said while grabbing a can of food from the pantry.

Steve sat on the sofa the cat had just vacated and she promptly jumped into his lap, expecting to be petted. He did not disappoint her and scratched beneath her chin and behind both ears while she purred and stretched.

"Well, don't mind me, Cat, I'm just the one over here feeding you," Grover complained. "Here, Kitty, Kitty."

Daisy looked toward her full food bowl and then leapt to the back of the sofa to nuzzle the back of Steve's head, her purring becoming louder.

"What do you do, wash your hair in catnip?" Grover asked after filling the water dish.

"She must be lonely," Steve said, looking around the room. A few photos were out of Petunia and a man they assumed was her late husband. A couple pictures of Daisy, but no pictures of kids or grandkids.

"Who, the cat or Miss Petunia?"

"I meant the cat," Steve said when said cat climbed his shirt to rest her head beneath his chin, "but I guess both of them."

"Yeah, probably," Grover agreed. "When she mentioned that the cat needed feeding, I asked if she had any friends who could do it. She said that the two friends she has left were neither able to drive. It must suck to get old and be alone. Speaking of, did you call Duke and press charges?"

"Not yet," Steve replied, setting the cat down on the floor. "You… go eat," he told her, pointing to the kitchen.

Lou looked at the kitchen counter and found several prescription bottles. "You know, she was concerned about her cat, but here are all her prescriptions and she didn't even think about needing them. Guess I should take them back to HPD in case there's one she really needs."

He thought a moment and then leaned across the counter and looked at Steve. "Can I ask a question?" he began. "And I understand your reasoning about Petunia and the Taser and not being willing to help someone who was injured. I agree with you on all that. But that woman is old and scared. My question is 'what good is keeping her in lock up going to accomplish'? She knows she was wrong. I just think another form of punishment would be better suited in a case like this."

Steve didn't answer for a moment. "Maybe," he finally admitted, looking at his friend. Daisy had taken a little taste test of her food but had quickly trotted back to the couch to be petted by her new best friend. "But I need to think about it, and until my head stops pounding, I can't think too clearly."

"So, we keep her overnight? You have to call Duke."

Steve sighed and looked around the room, then down at the cat that was curled up on his lap. "Hell, Lou," he grumbled. "Call Duke and have him send her home in a squad car. If her car isn't here, she'll be under house arrest and can't hurt anyone else."

Before Steve could change his mind, Grover had his phone out, calling Duke. After relaying the request, he said, "Hell, no, I'm not lying, Duke. McGarrett's right here if you wanna talk to him. Sheesh, what do you think I am? Just do it, OK? We'll wait here until she gets home because I have her keys." When he was off the phone, he sat in the overstuffed chair facing Steve to wait. "They'll be here soon."

"Tell me you confiscated that Taser."

"Of course we did. It's evidence. And Duke issued another raid on Kehaiki's today. I can't wait to learn what they found this time."

Steve leaned his head back on the couch, and Daisy settled next to him, her head by his shoulder. "I'm afraid to find out how many more of those things have been bought."

Whether it was the soft sofa or the non-stop purring in his right ear, he apparently dozed because next thing he heard was voices nearby.

"Oh! I didn't know _**he**_ would be here," Petunia said. "Daisy, get off that poor man!"

Steve raised his head and blinked, seeing both Petunia and Duke, who apparently was unwilling to turn over this detail to anyone else. "She's OK," he said when Daisy again rubbed her head beneath his chin.

Petunia set her purse down and watched her cat who hadn't even noticed her presence. "Daisy is very particular about who she allows to pet her," she commented.

"Well, she sure likes him," Grover replied.

"I can see," she murmured and timidly sat down on the edge of the couch next to Steve. "For what it's worth, I've been thinking of how I handled things yesterday and I was totally in the wrong. But when I saw you, I panicked and all I could think of was getting myself out of that situation. I didn't consider you at all. Looking back on it, I realize I made such a mess of things. This morning I was prepared to turn myself in after I heard about that man dying near the park, but just thinking about what I did really scares me. The sergeant explained that because I am out of jail doesn't mean I am not in trouble."

"Do you understand what 'house arrest' is?" Steve asked her.

"Of course. I watch LAW & ORDER. I am to stay at home. Which won't be a problem since I don't have a car. Will I have to wear one of those ankle bracelets like Neal wears on WHITE COLLAR? Although… oh dear. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. May I take a cab and make my appointment? Or should I have a police escort?"

Steve closed his eyes and sighed, holding up his hand to stop her. "Don't worry, we'll work it out." He picked up the cat and set her on the sofa next to Petunia. "Lou, are we about done?"

"Yeah," Grover said while standing. "Your keys are on the counter in the kitchen, Miss Petunia."

"Thank you for offering to feed my Daisy," she told Grover. "And thank you, Sergeant for driving me home."

"Yes, Ma'am."

The three left the house and headed to their vehicles.

"Steve, are you sure about this?" Duke asked him.

"Not really," he admitted. "But it's done."

"Come on," Grover said. "I'm getting you home before I have to carry you."

H50 – H50 - H50

Steve assured Grover he could make it inside the house under his own power. He quickly locked the door and made it inside and up the stairs, his entire body bone-weary and aching. His face and head were throbbing in time with the beat of his heart and he could still feel the stings from the Taser burns. The first thing he did was fish out the bottle of pills from his pocket and downed two of them before getting out of his clothes. Thankfully, within minutes he was able to sink down on the side of the bed.

And he let out a huge sigh. It had been a helluva twenty-four hours.

He reached up to turn off the light when his phone buzzed and Danny's picture popped up on the screen. Steve groaned, knowing that somehow Danny had heard of what had happened. Steve knew he had _**no**_ patience to listen to his partner's rant about his injury.

But he also knew that if he didn't answer, Danny was likely to show up on his doorstep.

Which he most certainly didn't want tonight. All he wanted was sleep.

"Hey, Danny."

" _Steve! Sorry I didn't call sooner, but I really didn't have time,"_ the rant began.

Steve leaned back against the headboard to wait him out.

" _You're not gonna believe what happened."_

"Yeah, what?"

" _Well, you remember the cheer camp, right? We were there all day and… get this… one team now has a boy on their squad. Can you believe that? Anyway, all the girls… not Grace, of course because she is much more mature than those kids… were making goo-goo eyes at him all day. For some reason, they thought this little shit was hot stuff._

 _So, anyway, they were out there practicing and he did a handstand and all the girls were ooing and ahing. But one of the girls ran into him and he fell. Wanna know what this loser did? He fell and hit Grace right in the face with both feet._

 _Partner, I have to tell you, I almost lost it and throttled the kid because Grace fell and when she turned over, her face was covered with blood. This little creep of a kid almost broke my poor Gracie's perfect little nose. I'm telling you, this kid is a menace to society and has no business in cheer. Can you imagine anyone coming close enough to my Gracie to break her nose? What kind of person would do that? He should try out for the wrestling team or something. I'm pressing charges is what I'm doing. This was just wrong._

 _Anyway, I wanted to let you know what's going on. I'll try to make it in tomorrow for a while, depending on how Grace is feeling. Poor baby has two black eyes and there is no way she wants to go to school. So, I just wanted to let you know – I'll talk to you later. Gotta get back to my baby girl. See ya, Partner."_

"Uh… bye," Steve said, staring at the phone after the call had been dropped.

"Huh," he mumbled, setting his phone back on the table and sliding down onto bed, careful not to touch his still-sore nose to the pillow. After listening to Danny's one-sided conversation about Grace's near broken nose, he had an overwhelming nagging feeling of déjà vu that wouldn't go away.

Steve couldn't get rid of the feeling that he should be remembering something. Unfortunately he had no clue what it might be.

Once he was flat in the bed, finally allowing his sore muscles to relax, he was just drifting off to sleep when the déjà vu came full circle.

The dream.

His nose.

His _**broken**_ nose.

And someone talking about breaking Grace's nose!

And then it finally hit him.

He had dreamed about a phone call from two crazy… _**women**_ (a term he would use very loosely) apologizing to him in advance for _**planning**_ to break his nose. Their names were…. He tried to remember. Sam and Cokie!

Although why the heck he would name people in a damn dream was beyond him.

Steve didn't believe in premonitions, but thinking back on the dream, he felt that for some reason he should have been prepared for this. Should have seen it coming.

"That doesn't make any sense," he muttered to himself, once again allowing sleep to pull him under. "I's just a dream… not your fault."

H50 – H50 - H50

After paying the fare for her drive from the airport, Catherine took a deep breath, taking in the fresh night air. _Finally home_. She smiled at the thought that this place really felt like home. Which she attributed to the man inside the house. She couldn't wait to see his surprised look when he realized she was coming home this early.

She had the chance to take an earlier flight and gladly jumped on it. She was sure Steve wouldn't mind to be woken in the middle of the night. She grinned when she thought about what she… Catherine stopped in her tracks not seeing the truck in the driveway. _Damn_ , she muttered under her breath. It looked like her surprise would fall flat with Steve not home but probably out on a case.

Taking another deep breath she walked up to the front door, got her keys out and let herself in. She put her small suitcase at the bottom of the stairs and made her way to the kitchen. A sandwich was what she needed now, and maybe an orange juice.

A noise made her stop and listen. But she couldn't hear anything but the low sound from the waves kissing the beach out back. She shook her head and was about to walk the rest of the way when she heard it again.

It sounded like… snoring. What the heck?!

Catherine slowly made her way up the stairs and stopped in front of the master bedroom. It was definitely snoring. She carefully pushed open the door and looked in amazement at the man sprawled on the bed.

A smile lit her face as she stepped closer. She admired the view of Steve's half naked form. He was sprawled on the bed with only sleep shorts on. She let her gaze wander over his perfect body.

It seemed that he hadn't even heard her, which was rather odd. Her gaze finally settled on his face that was bathed in the pale moonlight. What she saw made her gasp. _Oh my God_. It took her only a second to rush forward and sit down on the side of the bed.

"Steve?" She whispered.

Cath gently touched his bruised forehead, but didn't dare touch the clearly swollen ridge of his nose. Now it was also clear why he was snoring; she could see that his nose was filled with white gauze.

"Steve?" She again softly said. Not wanting to wake him, but still needing to know what had happened.

"Wha'?" A groggy voice asked from the bed.

H50 - H50 - H50

"Wha'? It's just a dream…" Steve mumbled.

"Steve?"

He heard a sweet voice whisper his name once again. Cath. How he wished Catherine was back with him. He lay there for a few more seconds before reality pushed aside his foggy dreams.

Steve blinked his eyes and tried to bring the blurry image into focus. But gave up after a moment when all his effort did was give him more of a headache.

He had taken two pain pills earlier, and since he had barely eaten all day they had pretty much knocked him out. That might explain why he lay on the covers of the bed, slightly shivering from the cool night air.

"Cath?" Steve finally managed to say.

"Steve, what happened? Were you in a car crash, is that why the truck isn't parked outside?"

"Uh… no… well, sorta," Steve slurred, still half asleep. "Wah' you doin' here?"

"I took an earlier flight. I wanted to surprise you."

Steve closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling of Catherine's gentle ministrations, one of her soft hands on his cheek and the other gently rubbing his upper arm. He had missed her touch, not just in a sexual way, but even more so in this intimate caring way. He had missed how she always had the ability to make him feel better, no matter what.

"Steve?"

"Hmm?" He was obviously on the brink of dozing off again, so he made an effort to come more alert. "Sorry, took some heavy stuff," he said with a slight slur in his voice.

"Shhh, it's OK, go back to sleep."

"Hmm," Steve mumbled, never opening his eyes. "Love the surprise," he whispered before he gave in to sleep again.

He never registered how Cath put a blanket over his still shivering form and how she snuggled up to him a few minutes later and also drifted off to sleep.

H50 - H50 - H50

Steve opened his eyes to soft morning light filtering into the room. Must be early, he mused and turned his head to look at what caused the weight on his left shoulder.

What he saw made him smile. He thought it had been a dream, but now it was obvious that Cath was really in bed with him. Too bad he didn't feel up to doing much more than lying still and enjoying the view.

He was sure even lifting his head would result in pain or puking… or both.

But sooner or later he had to get up, probably sooner rather than later. Nature was calling. Steve turned his head toward the nightstand but couldn't make out the time; calling his vision blurry was an understatement.

So he just gave up on that for the moment and looked back at his companion. He smiled when two brown eyes looked right back at him.

"Hey Sailor," Catherine softly said and stretched to greet him with a kiss.

"Hey yourself. Glad you're real," he whispered after they parted.

"What?" Cath asked and Steve watched her sitting up, taking a good look at his face. "What happened to you?"

"Long story," Steve replied and closed his eyes, willing the nausea to back down as it was again threatening to come to the forefront.

"Well, I don't have anywhere I need to be, so, I have time. Tell me what happened," Cath prodded.

"I got tased, fell and busted my nose," Steve told her the short version.

"Is the guy in custody?"

"Wha' guy?"

"The one tasing you."

"Uh… under house arrest."

"Huh?"

Steve shook his head, which was a big mistake and resulted in increasing nausea and small bombs going off behind his forehead. "She's 79 years old, about navel high, _**and**_ she's a witch," he added with conviction. "Ugh," Steve groaned and clambered out of bed, almost tripping over his own feet and barely making it to the bathroom before his meager dinner made a second appearance.

Getting shot didn't hurt as much as puking with a stuffed and fractured nose. Steve had been shot, so he knew what he was talking about. He groaned when he was done losing his food into the toilet bowl. Tears were again streaming down his face. Must be the damn concussion, Steve mused. He leaned his head on the cool porcelain and groaned even more when his tender forehead made contact with the appliance.

"Anything I can do?" Cath asked and lay her hand in comfort and sympathy on his back, while she kneeled next to him.

"Yeah, shoot me," Steve whispered.

"Come on, I'll help you up."

H50 - H50 - H50

Fifteen minutes later they left the bathroom after Cath has not only helped Steve up from the floor but also getting through his morning routine.

It worried her how he had not complained even once when she practically manhandled him while in the bathroom. And now he sat on the bed and looked rather pathetic.

"Steve?"

"Huh?" He looked up and tried to follow her voice. "Oh, hi Cath. When did ya get back?"

Catherine looked at her friend and seeing the unfocused gaze it was clear that she had to take him to see a doctor. "Steve, when are you supposed to get the packing out?"

"Wha'? Oh, you mean dis stuff?" He said and touched his nose, only to groan in pain. "Dis sucks," he grumbled under his breath. "Ehm, don' know."

"OK, listen, I'll get you a shirt and pants, and then we'll go to the ER, OK?"

"Nah… wanna sleep… 'm tired," Steve mumbled and fell back onto the bed with his feet still on the floor. "Ouch," he called out when his head hit the bed.

"No, no, Steve! Don't go to sleep, you have to stay awake. Come on. Steve!"

"Why are you yelling?" Steve sat back up and held his aching head in his hands. "Ugh, please stop yelling. What happened?"

"You were… Steve, we have to go to the ER, you're not OK."

"My head hurts. Shouldn't hurt like this," he agreed. "Need to get dressed first," Steve added and looked at his state of undress.

"Yeah, you better," Cath told him with a smile.

H50 - H50 - H50

 _ **Queen's Medical Center - Trauma 1**_

"Commander, I didn't expect to see you before this afternoon," Dr. Miles said. "Actually, the report says you're supposed to see one of our ENT specialists," the doctor read from the medical file. "What brings you here this early?"

"Have we met?" Steve asked the older doctor who he thought looked kind of familiar.

"Yes, I treated you on Saturday when you first came in. Don't you remember?" The ER doctor asked as he put the documents aside.

"Uh, not really," Steve had to confess. He did remember what had happened to him and he remembered being released on Sunday, but all the rest was kind of a blur. "I do remember some of Sunday."

"Hmm. Commander, do you remember when you came in here after you had been shot in the head a few months ago?"

"WHAT! Steve! You were shot in the head? When? How?"

Both men turned their heads to Catherine who had jumped up from her seat hearing about that little tidbit. ?

"I wasn't shot _**in**_ the head," Steve quickly assured her and glared at his doctor.

"That is debatable, Commander. That bullet came pretty close to killing you," Dr. Miles said. "Ma'am, I'm sure Commander McGarrett will tell you all about it a little later," he told Catherine with one of his patented smiles.

"Oh, I'm sure he will," she said and looked at Steve, making sure he got the message.

"So, do you remember that I told you back then that your next head injury could be more pronounced even if it was only a mild hit?" He asked Steve.

"Eh, yeah, something like that," Steve grumbled and closed his eyes when the room started spinning again.

"That's one of the reasons why we kept you overnight even though you only suffered a very mild concussion."

"He was really confused this morning, and I think disoriented," Catherine provided.

"Commander?"

"Hmm, yeah, kind of. I didn't know where I was at first, and couldn't remember why Catherine was there," he admitted.

"Yesterday, did you go home when you were released?" Dr. Miles asked.

"Yeah, I went home," Steve slowly answered.

"Let me rephrase that. Did you get home and rest?"

"Uhm, not really. I went to work for a few hours, but I didn't get out, or anything. I was just at HQ."

"Hmm. That is not what you were supposed to do, Commander."

"Ah, come on, doc. It's just a broken nose and a headache, trust me, I've had much worse," Steve exclaimed and stood up. _Enough was enough_. "I'm leaving."

Steve got as far as getting to his feet before his world suddenly turned black.

H50 - H50 - H50

"Shit," Steve said when he came to. He was again lying on the bed in the ER trauma room and looked right into two worried faces. One with a smile on his face; that damn doctor didn't seem to lose the smile no matter what the situation, which kind of pissed Steve off. And one face that looked a little miffed.

"Commander, to be frank, I don't think you're in any shape to go anywhere right now."

"No kidding," Steve grumbled under his breath.

"I know you don't wanna hear this, but I'm going to admit you for another 24 hours. And before you say anything, let me explain something to you," Dr. Miles warded off Steve's attempt to object. "Your body went through quite a lot of trauma."

Steve snorted as good he could with his nose still stuffed. "Yeah right, I got tased by a little old lady."

"No, that is not the trauma I'm talking about. You hit your head really hard, you fractured a bone in your body, we estimate that you lost a bit more than one liter of blood, _**and**_ your heart had to be shocked back into a normal rhythm. Commander, believe me, your body did suffer trauma."

Steve didn't grace that with a comment. He was still miffed that he had face planted and that the old witch was the cause for all this. She had to pay for what she had done. _Where is that coming from_ , Steve thought for a moment.

"Commander!"

"What?" Steve blinked and looked at the doctor who for the first time didn't have a smile on his face.

"You just zoned out on us. Are you feeling OK?"

"Ehm… my head really hurts," he finally admitted. It suddenly didn't sound like such a bad idea to rest for a little while.

"Yeah, you should have rested yesterday as you were told," Miles told his patient without any blame in his voice.

"The doc said "to take it easy… not resting", Steve answered. "I did take it easy, I only sat in my office."

"Uh huh. Doesn't really matter now. There is no damage done, you just need to rest, and we need to replenish the lost blood. I'll order an IV, and you should be good to go tomorrow, two days at the most."

"Tomorrow," Steve said with conviction.

"We'll see. I'll also order something for your headache. Let the nurse know if you feel sick. The ENT specialist will see you later and remove the packing. Oh, and I'm also placing an order for face protection for when you are in the field. I strongly urge you to wear it whenever there is a possibility of close altercation. I highly doubt you want any more damage done to that sore nose."

Steve wearily watched his doctor writing something in his chart. "The DA will need a copy of that," Steve said and motioned to the medical file. "For the case against the witch… I mean Petunia."

"I think Sgt. Lukela already took all pertinent information, but I'll make sure that it will be complete," Miles assured him. "Now, I want you to relax." He then turned to Catherine, "Ma'am, you can go with him to his room. But please make sure that he rests."

"Thank you."

It took about twenty minutes before an orderly came to take Steve to his room. During that time Steve was well aware that Cath was watching him, probably waiting for a chance to ask him about the head injury Dr. Miles had mentioned. But Steve had closed his eyes after his doctor had left and it hadn't been long until he dozed off.

The headache from hell was still bugging him when he was jostled awake by the orderly who wanted him to get into the wheelchair to get to his room.

Steve sighed, but complied without comment. Another ten minutes later he was settled in bed and looked at Catherine who had been awfully quiet the last half hour.

"Are you OK?" Steve asked and had to chuckle at the startled look he received from her.

"You're the one in the hospital bed, Steve."

"Yeah, but you look like something's on your mind," he answered and smiled at her.

"I'm sorry."

"About what?" Steve asked and looked at his friend. "What are you sorry about?"

"About not being there for you when you were hurt."

"You're here now," Steve said and closed his eyes. "Damn," he mumbled under his breath when the room wavered in and out of focus. "This really sucks."

"Tell me how you got shot," Cath said and took his hand in hers.

"Which time?"

"You were shot more than once while I was gone?"

Steve grumbled something about having a bad streak of luck. "Got shot in the thigh, although Flippa thinks it doesn't count."

"Uh huh. I'm more interested in what Dr. Miles said about being shot in the head. What happened?"

"Wo Fat happened," Steve answered. He wasn't really in the mood to talk about it in length, but knew he had to tell her at least the short version. "He held me captive for half a day, pumped me full of drugs, we fought, we shot at each other, his bullet grazed me, mine got him between the eyes. End of story."

"I'm sure there is a lot more to tell about it…"

"Yeah, but not now," Steve whispered. "Sorry, but…"

"Nah, it's OK, Steve, go to sleep. Dr. Miles said you need to rest. We'll talk tomorrow."

"OK." He breathed out slowly through his mouth. "Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm really glad you're back," Steve said, and despite being in pain and feeling sick and miserable he had a smile on his face.

"Me too," she whispered.

H50 - H50 - H50

Chin and Lou knocked on Miss Petunia's door shortly after noon. She had called that morning reminding them again that she had a doctor's appointment and wanting to know if she should call HPD for a ride. The two had made an executive decision to return her car to her with a couple of stipulations. One, they wanted to ensure she didn't have another Taser lying around the house and second, they wanted to know her itinerary for the afternoon.

"Come in," Petunia told them after opening the door.

"Hello, Miss Petunia," Chin told her when they entered. "Captain Grover and I would like to have a little discussion with you before we turn your keys over to you."

"All right," she said and motioned toward the small table in the sunroom. "I made some sandwiches. I bet you boys haven't had time to eat, have you?"

"You don't need to feed us," Lou told her.

"Have you eaten?" she asked pointedly.

"Well, no," Chin admitted.

"Then sit," she ordered.

They sat.

Petunia brought a platter of sandwiches, a bowl of potato chips and a platter of fruit to the table along with three plates.

"Ma'am, we shouldn't be doing this," Grover told her. "This is too much."

"Nonsense," she told him. "It is rare I get to fix food for anyone other than me and Daisy. Please, eat up. I didn't know who would come but I wanted to make sure I had plenty."

"This is good," Chin told her after taking a bite of her homemade chicken salad.

"Yes, ma'am," Grover agreed.

"How's the Commander this morning?" she asked, then added a bit sheepishly, "I have a confession to make." She left the table and picked up some papers on the kitchen counter.

"What's that?" Chin asked.

"I called my friend Margie last night and asked for help. Her granddaughter Tanya has a computer and gets on that World Wide Web thing so I asked her if she would do the Google and search for Commander McGarrett." She laid the papers on the table. "He's pretty impressive, isn't he?"

Chin smiled at her description of computer searches and nodded. "Yes, ma'am, he is."

"And I'm sure he looks much worse today than he did yesterday, doesn't he?" She pointed at the picture attached to the article and added, "Just look at that pretty face. And to think I made such a mess of it."

"Well, we haven't seen him," Grover replied. "He had to have that packing taken out of his nose and the doctor decided to keep him. He's at Queens again."

"Oh, no! What's wrong?"

"He's still dealing with a headache and nausea," Chin replied. "The doctor just wants to keep him there overnight for observation."

Petunia pushed her plate back after only eating a few bites. "I am a foolish old woman," she told them. "I just can't believe I did something so stupid."

"Miss Petunia, we all make mistakes," Grover reminded her. "The important thing is to learn from them."

"Oh, trust me, I have," she assured him. "Do you know anything about going to court and what I need to do? I did call my husband's cousin; he's a lawyer. I told him I might need his help to keep me out of jail."

"Having a lawyer is good," Chin agreed. "But you just need to sit tight until we sort everything out. And we need Commander McGarrett's statement for that. We will be in touch. Now, we are returning your keys to you. But first, you don't have another Taser or any other weapons, do you?"

She held up her right hand. "I swear to God that was the first and last Taser I will ever touch."

"How about guns, knives, machetes, or C4?" Lou asked with a straight face.

"No, Sir."

"Then here's your car key," he told her, laying it on the table. "But, we don't expect you to go gallivanting around the island until you hear back from us. We are still considering you under house arrest although we understand you have legitimate reasons to be out, for instance this doctor's appointment."

"May I stop by the grocery before I come back home? Daisy needs some food."

"Grocery shopping is reasonable," Chin told her as he stood. "And Miss Petunia, lunch was great. Thank you, but we need to get back to the office."

"Yes, thank you," Grover added, and then pointed his finger at her. "You behave yourself."

"Trust me, I most assuredly will. And thank you both. I know you were the ones who got me out of that holding place."

Lou quickly shook his head. "Now that's where you're wrong. Commander McGarrett made that decision on his own," he told her. "We had nothing to do with it."

"Then I owe him my gratitude," she assured them. "And I will pay my debt."

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Queen's Medical Center**_

 _ **Monday afternoon**_

Catherine sat on the window seat in the darkened room flipping through a six month old PEOPLE magazine by the dim light coming from the window. While it was old, the news items really hadn't changed much during the year she had been gone and she finally tossed aside the magazine. The same people seemed to be doing the same boring things with their lives.

Her thoughts turned to Steve and what she had learned from the doctor that morning. When she had returned for the wedding, she had learned that Wo Fat was dead and she knew Steve had shot him. But Steve had managed to leave out pertinent facts from that event. For instance, she hadn't known about the drugs or the gunshot wound to the head which had caused him a moderate concussion. That, coupled with the current concussion, which wasn't as severe but still problematic, had caused his headache and confusion. It also explained his odd behavior about the little old lady. Steve had always been a forgiving person, his thoughts about Miss Petunia were anything but.

She was very glad the doctor had been able to give Steve something to help the headache so that he could sleep. He had only awakened once when the ENT came to remove the packing, not a procedure Steve had enjoyed. She kept glancing in the direction of the bed to make sure he was OK and was thankful to see the easy rise and fall of his chest signaling that he was breathing well through his broken nose. Cath reached for her water bottle and moved to sit in the chair by Steve's bed, laying her hand on top of his, her thumb rubbing circles on it. The bruises making rings around his eyes were black and purple and the one on his forehead was a vibrant purplish/blue hue. It now extended down the bridge of his nose as well. Just looking at it made her own head hurt.

The door opened and she glanced up, expecting the nurse making her rounds. Instead she saw a tiny gray haired woman in a pink jogging suit and white and pink athletic shoes enter the room. … _She's 79 years old, about navel high,_ _**and**_ _she's a witch…_ Steve's words from that morning immediately popped into her head.

"May I help you?" Cath asked as she stood up.

The visitor had yet to look at Catherine; instead she was focused on Steve. She moved closer to the bed and looked down at him in disbelief before shaking her head and glancing up at Cath who was standing on the opposite side of the bed.

"I am so sorry," she said with tears in her eyes. I'm Petunia Iwalani," she whispered and then took a deep breath before admitting, "And I did this to him."

Cath shook her head and motioned toward the window seat. "Let's sit over here so we don't wake Steve."

When Petunia was seated, Catherine introduced herself.

"Are you his wife? You must hate me so much."

Cath smiled. "No, I'm not his wife."

"I noticed you didn't say you didn't hate me," Petunia pointed out with a sad smile.

"And I don't hate you," Catherine hesitantly told her. "But I do think you made a couple of very bad choices on Saturday," she added.

"Sweetie, that is the understatement of the year," Petunia said with a sigh and shook her head. "It is one of those times where they say 'If you had those 15 seconds back, you could change history' kind of moments. So tell me why he is back in the hospital. He was hurting yesterday but he seemed to be OK."

Catherine released a sigh. "I got home last night and we talked for a couple of minutes. This morning when he woke up, he got sick and had to throw up. Then he looked at me and asked me when I had gotten home. I knew right then that something wasn't right and knew I had to have him looked at. And they had to take the packing out of his nose today, too. But I'm glad the doctor decided to keep him so that he can get some rest."

They both looked at the man peacefully sleeping in the bed. "When I first saw him, I thought he was a deranged person ready to steal my purse or my car… He certainly doesn't look like that now," Petunia admitted. "Even with all the bruises he looks so much younger and much less menacing." She paused once again. "Tell me what he's like," she asked.

Catherine looked at Steve and couldn't help but smile. How could she begin to describe what he was like? "That's a tough question," Cath admitted. "He is intense, fiercely loyal, a gentleman, a protector, someone you always want on your side. He's a very good person." She smiled and fondly looked at the man in the bed. "He can also be stubborn to a fault but that trait seems to serve him well. He also has a wicked sense of humor," Catherine added, "but not everyone gets to see that side of him." Catherine thought for a moment. "He has a very big heart, and he always fights for what is right. He's the gentlest person you'll ever now, but also the toughest…"

"You love him," Petunia softly interrupted her.

Cath looked at her and nodded. "Yeah. Yes, I do. He's my best friend, one I know I can always count on."

"Then don't ever let that slip away," Petunia told her. "I found a love like that with my husband. We were best friends for sixty years. I met him when I was sixteen and we married when I was twenty. When I lost him three years ago, I didn't know how I could go on. But… somehow I've managed. Although somewhere along the way I guess I've become a cynical, mean, old woman. The old me wouldn't have acted like I did on Saturday."

"Tell me what happened, please. Just how did you manage to take out my Navy SEAL?" Cath asked with a grin.

"A few months back I was in the fruit market and two hooligans raced by on skateboards. One of them grabbed the hat right off my head and the other snatched my bananas. They knocked me down and I had never had anything like that happen to me. I was scared and felt violated. I vowed that would never happen again."

"That does sound very frightening," Cath murmured.

"A friend told me about Tasers and we went to the pawn shop to look at them. The man said it was easy to use and would keep me safe. He didn't bother to mention what they do to a person when they are hit with one. And look at me now… I'm 79 and have a police record. Being a criminal was never on my bucket list," she said with a sad smile.

Catherine smiled. "You don't seem like a true criminal to me," she quietly said.

Petunia pointed toward the bed. " _ **He**_ certainly doesn't agree with you on that! The poor man surely wasn't in good humor when I met him yesterday. And rightfully so. But he growled at me."

Cath laughed, causing Petunia to laugh along with her. "You know, there are other ways to protect yourself. Maybe you should look for something less invasive."

"You don't know how I wish I could make this better," Petunia said. "But when I learned he was back in the hospital, I knew I had to do something. I made arrangements to pay for his hospital bills. I know it isn't much, and I know I'm still going to court and have to pay for what I did, but at least, this is a start."

"I don't think Steve expects you to pay the hospital costs."

"Maybe not, but I've already spoken to the accounting office and made the arrangements. So he can't refuse it."

"That's very nice of you," Cath said. A soft groan from the bed got her attention and she jumped up. "Excuse me," she told Petunia, but her attention was elsewhere.

Steve rolled his head toward her voice but didn't open his eyes. Catherine reached for his hand to let him know she was there and he squeezed her fingers when he felt the touch.

"Hey, Sleepyhead, are you waking up?"

"Unh… think so." He opened his eyes and looked at her through bleary eyes. "Am I in the hospital?"

"'Fraid so," she said. "Do you remember this morning?"

"More puking. And the doc pulling three miles of gauze out of my head."

"At least that much," Cath agreed with a smile. "Hey, you've got company. Miss Petunia wanted to see how you were feeling."

"Huh? Be careful around her. She's dang'rous."

Petunia came closer to the bed. "I heard you were in the hospital and I felt I needed to check on you."

Steve stared at her, a confused look on his face. "Didn't you swear you were gonna stay home when I put you on home incarceration?"

Petunia nodded. "Yes, I did. But I'm a criminal. What can I say… I didn't tell the truth," she quipped. "Actually my doctor's appointment was this afternoon and it was in the office building next door. I didn't feel right by not checking on you. But I'm headed home now… after I stop and buy Daisy some food. Those two nice men, Lt. Kelly and Captain Grover brought me my car back."

"Of course they did," Steve grumbled.

"You take good care of him," Petunia told Catherine.

"Absolutely," she assured her.

"It was good meeting you," Petunia said, pointing her finger at the younger woman. "You remember what I said."

"Yes, ma'am, I will. Thank you for stopping by."

"Commander, I suppose I'll see you in court. Please take care of yourself," she urged as she walked out the door.

"So…" Steve turned back to Catherine. "What does she want you to remember?"

Cath leaned down and lightly kissed his lips and then whispered, "That I need to take care of my best friend."

"Ah. OK. So, she's scary, right?"

"Not really," Cath admitted. "But we did discuss the poor choices she made on Saturday. And I know you would probably disagree, but she really is just a frightened older woman who is afraid she can't take care of herself."

"She managed to take care of herself without a problem," Steve reminded her.

"Yes, and she knows she was wrong and really regrets her actions."

"Maybe," Steve hedged. "Can I get out of here now? I feel better."

"Sorry, but no," Cath replied. "The doctor wants you in here for 24 hours for observation."

"But Cath—"

"No buts, Sailor. You'll get home tomorrow."

"Why is no one ever on my side?" he grumbled.

"That's it," she said with a smile. "Play that 'poor, pitiful me' card. See how far it gets you."

Steve couldn't keep in a yawn. "Ow… that still hurts," he said and touched the bridge of his nose. "But at least I can breathe now."

"Which is good news. Why don't you try another nap? Chin said he would bring by some dinner a bit later if you feel like eating."

"Anything but hospital food," Steve replied. "But I might just rest my eyes," he said, closing them. He reached for Catherine's hand and held it in his. "Not gonna sleep."

She smiled when his breathing evened out less than thirty seconds later. "Not gonna sleep at all," she whispered and settled back into her chair, gladly keeping hold of his hand.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Tuesday, early afternoon**_

"You look like you're glad to be out of there," Catherine teased Steve while she pulled away from the hospital curb.

"You think?" He grinned back at her, thankful to be free from the headache that had plagued him for the past three days.

"And you also look like you feel much better. I'm glad your headache is gone."

"You and me both," he agreed, leaning his head onto the headrest. "I thought it would never go away. Hey, do me a favor before we go home."

"Steve…," she said, her tone a warning. "The doctor said you need another 48 hours of rest before thinking about going back to work."

"I know, and I'm not gonna work. Just need to stop by the DA's office for a few minutes. That's all."

"And the DA's office is across the lawn from the Palace, so you'll need to check out what's going on there, and then—"

"OK, OK, just the DA's office, I swear," Steve conceded.

"I'm going to hold you to that, Sailor."

"You can hold me to a lot more things if you want," he remarked, rolling his head sideways to look at her.

"Ah… he _**does**_ feel better," Cath said, smiling back at the impish expression on his face.

H50 – H50 – H50

"So, why are we here?" Catherine asked while walking across the sidewalk to the District Attorney's office.

"I have some questions for Ellie – she's the new DA. And I want you to meet her, too. I think you'll like her."

Steve opened the door into the DA's office and moved toward a desk.

"Commander! Oh my, what happened?" Ellie Clayton's assistant asked, glancing at both Steve and Catherine.

"Kind of an accident, Kiele, but I'm OK. Is Ellie out of court yet?"

"Yes, I think she's just finishing lunch, so let me see if I can grab her. She has an afternoon session today, so the time might be tight."

"Thanks, we won't be long," Steve assured her. Two minutes later they were escorted back to the break room where Ellie was finishing a salad.

She looked up when they entered. "Steve! I saw the report, but I had no idea. She really got you good, didn't she?"

"It looks worse than it actually is," he said, downplaying his injuries. He knew without looking at Catherine that she had rolled her eyes at that comment. "Ellie, I'd like you to meet Catherine Rollins. Cath, this is Ellie Clayton, our newest DA."

The women exchanged greetings and Ellie asked them to sit. "Do you mind if I finish this?" she asked, glancing at her watch. "I know it is horribly rude of me."

"No, please go ahead," Cath told her while they both sat down.

"Yeah, I've just got a couple of quick questions," Steve told her. "I assume you got the jacket on the arrest for the accident, right?"

"You mean attack. That was no accident, Steve," Ellie said but then nodded and took a sip of water. "Yes, Sergeant Lukela personally brought it to me. I couldn't believe what had happened. I was going to set an arraignment but Duke said to wait and talk to you first. He told me he felt sure you would be by."

Steve looked first at Ellie and then at Catherine and grumbled, "I am becoming too predictable."

Cath smiled. "Yeah, you'd better work on that."

"What do we need to discuss?" Ellie asked. "It's a clear cut case with a misdemeanor for failure to render aid and a felony charge for inflicting bodily harm with a dangerous instrument. I will push for a twelve-month jail sentence and restitution. Is there anything else to be added?"

Steve looked at her for a moment, a quizzical expression on his face and Catherine could see the beginnings of another headache coming on.

"Ah, no," he began. "I understand the law and your ruling, but after really thinking about the situation… you see, this is a 79 year old woman who truly feared for her life, Ellie. Granted, she used a dangerous instrument but at the time, she didn't fully understand its capabilities. She was really shocked to learn about my injuries and the consequences her actions had," Steve explained.

"I thought it looked worse than it was?" Ellie interrupted with a smile.

"Ehm… well… anyway," Steve continued and ignored Catherine's grin. "Personally, I would much rather pursue charges against the person who sold the Taser to her than to put Petunia in jail."

"Petunia? You're on a first name basis with your attacker?"

"Long story," Steve said, now grinning himself.

"While I agree that the seller of the Taser is responsible… _**and**_ has been shut down with his wares confiscated until his own trial, this Petunia shouldn't get off scott free. Steve, I've read the medical report, you could have died," Ellie said, now all business.

"I agree," Steve said while Cath nodded. "But we have something else in mind. If you are in agreement, how about we give her community service?"

"And why is that?" Ellie asked, still not convinced to let the woman get away easy.

Catherine leaned forward and placed her hands on the table. "I spoke with Petunia yesterday and she has been a widow for three years. Prior to that, she and her husband did everything together – they worked together, they traveled and loved life. She was active in the community. When she lost him, I think she just lost her way and didn't know what to do with herself. She needs something to make her feel useful again," Catherine explained. She then looked at Steve, seeing him nod she continued. "We thought working with the underprivileged in some way would benefit both them and her."

"Hmm, I guess I _could_ agree to that," Ellie said, then shook her head. "But she would have _**strict**_ guidelines and will need a probationary period. I could maybe reduce the jail sentence to a twelve-month probation with community service and monthly visits to an officer."

"I'll do it," Steve volunteered.

"You'll do what?" Ellie asked in confusion.

"Be the officer. I…" he glanced at Cath. "We would like Miss Petunia to learn something from this experience."

Ellie thought and then got up and tossed out her empty container. "That's doable. I mean, if this is what you want. I can write up the case and file it without going to court, if that's what you prefer. _And_ if she's willing to take this plea bargain. _And_ she should know this really is a bargain. I have to ask again, Steve, are you sure about this?"

"Yes, absolutely. Thank you, that's great," Steve said as he and Catherine both stood. "Oh, and as for the restitution part, she went to the hospital yesterday and made arrangements to pay my hospital bill. She is trying to make things right."

"Well, no offense," Ellie said, "But from the looks of your injuries, she has a way to go."

"We're going to work on that," Cath told her. "Thank you for your help and it is great meeting you," she told Ellie. "We know you need to get back to court."

"Yes, I do, and it was good to meet you, too. Steve, take care. I'll file the paperwork and send you a copy."

"Good. So, once I get the information from your office, I can go talk to her?"

"Absolutely. Just be careful," she warned with a grin.

"Trust me, I am very wary around her," he admitted. "Thanks, Ellie."

Catherine and Steve left the office and headed toward the truck when Cath asked, "How did the two of you meet? Over a case?"

"Not exactly," Steve replied, reaching for the door handle. "At my dad's grave. It's a long story, but I will tell you all about it," he told her.

"She likes you," Catherine told him as she got behind the wheel.

"Yeah, I like her, too. She's really good at what she does."

Cath chuckled. "No, she really _**likes**_ you."

"What? No she doesn't," he disagreed.

"I can tell by the way she looks at you," Catherine argued. "She likes you."

"No, and I can prove it. She tried to set me up with a friend."

"Really? What did she say?"

"She said she wondered if I was interested in dating… that she had a friend to introduce me to."

"Uh huh, she was feeling you out," Cath said with a grin. "Trust me."

Steve went around the truck and climbed in. "No. I'm sure… well, I don't think that's what she had in mind."

"I would place a wager on it…"

"It doesn't matter," Steve said.

"Why is that?" she asked, starting the truck.

"I told her I wasn't interested in dating. Period."

"You know what?" Cath asked.

Steve shook his head and winced slightly at the movement.

She reached over and squeezed his fingers. "I don't deserve you," she softly replied. "And I _**do**_ expect to hear the story of how you met Ellie."

"Promise," Steve replied, squeezing her hand.

H50 – H50 – H50

 _ **Five-0 Headquarters**_

 _ **Friday, 0945**_

"Good morning, Catherine," Danny greeted when she came into headquarters that morning. He was carrying his second cup of coffee and motioned with his cup asking if she would also like one.

"Hey, Danny. No thanks, I'm good." She stopped by the large computer table and said hello to both Chin and Lou. "Chin, do you need any help in picking up Kono and Adam on Sunday?"

"I think I'm good," he assured her. "Steve's already asked, but I appreciate your offer."

"Just yell if you change your mind," she assured him.

"So…" Lou began with a grin. "He's gonna meet Miss Petunia again, right? Are you here for backup?"

Cath shook her head and grinned. "I doubt he will need backup."

Danny shook his head. "I don't know… the way he looks, he sure needed some help the first time they tangled."

"That was a very unfortunate situation," Catherine said.

"That it was," Grover agreed.

"Hey! Anyone getting any work done around here?" Steve 'complained', coming out of his office after taking a phone call. He moved to Catherine's side and placed his hand on her back, just for a small touch of greeting.

"Coffee break," Danny said, holding up his cup once again. "Want one?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Danny, how is Grace's nose?" Cath asked.

He made a face. "Well, she and this Neanderthal could have a contest over who is the most colorful," he said. "Although Grace doesn't have the spectacular bruise in the middle of her forehead, so Steve, I guess you'd win. And you get points for actually coming out into public. Grace refuses to leave the back yard. On the bright side… for her… not for me, I assure you. The 'cute boy' who kicked her in the face sent her a bunch of flowers."

"That was sweet," Cath agreed.

"Maybe so, but if I _**ever**_ see him skulking around my house, I will shoot first and ask questions later."

"Grace is going to have such a fun time when she starts to date," Steve drily added.

"Enh… that is a four letter word that I wish not to hear," Danny said. "At least not for many, many years."

"Oh, but trust me," Grover said. "You will hear that word. Again and again. Never fear."

Steve touched Catherine's arm and nodded toward his office. "How about we go over this before she gets here," he asked.

"Sure. See you guys. I'll make a lunch run later if you don't get a case."

"Sounds good," Chin told her. "Surely Steve and Miss Petunia won't take until lunch time. But if you need a referee, just call…"

"Funny, Chin. She's supposed to be here at 10:30 so if you don't mind, take her to the conference room."

"Can't wait to see this menace to society," Danny said. "Should I be frightened?"

"Laugh it up, guys…" Steve said over his shoulder while walking toward his office.

H50 – H50 – H50

Promptly at 10:20, Miss Petunia walked through the door, once again escorted by an officer. For this meeting she was dressed in a pink skirt with a floral top and a straw hat. Her large pink purse was on her arm.

"Miss Petunia!" Grover called to her. "And how are you today?"

"That's what I'm here to find out, Captain. How are you?"

"Fine as frog's hair. Petunia, I would like to you meet Detective Danny Williams. Danny, this is Miss Petunia."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." He grinned at her. "Would you be interested in teaching a class in how to subdue a suspect?"

"Young man, that isn't funny," she told him. "But nice to meet you anyway."

"Just ignore him, Miss Petunia," Chin told her. "If you're ready I'll take you to the conference room and let Steve know you're here."

"I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she said. "I feel like I'm going to the gallows."

H50 – H50 – H50

"Are you ready?" Catherine asked Steve before he opened the conference room door.

"Yeah. You?"

"Absolutely," she whispered, squeezing his arm. "This is a good thing you're doing."

"Hope so." He opened the door to allow Catherine to enter.

"Hello, Miss Petunia," she said, taking a seat opposite the older woman.

"Hello, Dear," she said and smiled at Cath before turning her attention to Steve. "Commander."

"Good morning, Ms. Iwalani."

"Are you still in much pain?" she asked quietly.

"I'm good," he said.

"Hmmm… somehow your face says differently," she muttered, glancing at Catherine.

Steve sat at the head of the table and opened the file he had brought with him. "Do you understand why I've asked you here?" he began.

"I presume you are going to give me a court date. If I need to have my attorney present, I can call him."

"No, I don't think that will be necessary," Steve assured her. He folded his hands on the table and looked at her. "Miss Petunia, could you tell me what, if anything, you have learned from this incident?"

The question wasn't one she was expecting. "Well, I… I guess I've learned a lot. I know I'll never pick up a Taser again because I've seen firsthand what damage they can cause. May I ask if your side is healing from the burn?"

Steve nodded. "It's fine."

"I also realized that not everyone is out to get me, even though I feel I still need to be cautious about my surroundings."

"Absolutely," Catherine agreed with her.

Petunia looked hesitantly at Steve. "I also realized that first impressions aren't always the right ones," she admitted. "You are absolutely not what I envisioned when I saw you in the park. All I saw was dirt and sweat and tattoos."

Cath grinned at Steve. "He cleans up nicely, doesn't he?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Catherine," he growled when both women smiled. "Enough." He reached for one of the pieces of paper and glanced over it. "I have spoken to the district attorney and have a proposition for you. It is your decision whether or not to accept our ruling. If you disagree, we will have to go to court."

"You mean this isn't about a court date?"

"No ma'am, but please hear me out. You have been charged with one felony and one misdemeanor. Inflicting bodily harm with a dangerous instrument is a felony charge and failure to render aid to an injured person is a misdemeanor. The DA recommended a twelve month jail sentence and restitution."

"Oh, dear," Petunia whispered.

"I proposed an alternate sentence to her, and, she has initially agreed. Like I said, this is pending your acceptance of the proposition."

"And what might that be?"

"She is willing to reduce the jail sentence to a twelve-month probationary period where you meet monthly with an officer appointed by the court. You would also have to agree to a year of community service."

"You mean like picking up trash on the side of the road?" she asked. "I've seen those fellas out there."

"Nothing like that, I assure you," Catherine told her.

"Why don't you explain it, Cath," Steve said, handing the paper to her.

"Miss Petunia, you said you were frightened a few months ago by some youths in the market."

"Yes, I was afraid to leave the house for days after that," she admitted.

"We would like to show you that not all youths are bad. In fact, there are some good ones out there who just need a friend."

"Oh, I could never relate to teenagers," Petunia disagreed. "I'm just an old woman. They wouldn't want to listen to me."

"I have a friend named Laila Yamanaka," Steve told her. "I've known her most of my life. She works for an organization called 'Helping Hands'. They take in good kids who have maybe gotten into trouble and try to turn their lives around before they make a really bad choice that could ruin their lives."

"Kind of like an old lady with a Taser," Petunia said.

Steve grinned. "Yeah, kind of like that. Helping Hands always needs volunteers at the center. I talked to Ms. Yamanaka and she wants to meet with you. I would propose working at least three half days a week. It isn't too far from your house, so you shouldn't have difficulty getting there. You would also report to me once a month to go over your progress report which I will get from Ms. Yamanaka."

"But what if I can't help kids?"

"All I'm asking is that you give it a try."

Petunia looked from Steve to Catherine. "I will certainly try," she agreed.

"Good," Catherine told her. "We have an appointment with her this afternoon at one. Are you available?"

"Of course. I don't have to be back home until around six when Daisy will expect to be fed. So, I don't have to go to court at all?"

"No," Steve told her. "Unless you can't stay out of trouble. I will give you the DA's ruling for your signature, but one thing on it is NO weapons of any kind. That includes Tasers, guns, switchblades, etc. And you need to stay away from pawn shops."

"I assure you that won't be a problem," she told him.

Danny knocked on the glass door. "Steve, sorry to interrupt but can we see you for a moment?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, standing and heading to the door. "Catherine would you mind going over the affidavit with her?"

"Of course," she said, moving to the opposite side of the table to sit next to Petunia. The women watched as Steve met his team around the computer. After a few seconds of conversation, the men scattered to their respective offices, only to regroup a moment later.

"They look like they are on a mission," Petunia remarked.

"Yeah," Cath replied, a pang of jealousy warring with concern for the team. "That's what they do."

Before heading out, Steve popped his head back in. "I've got to run," he told Cath. "Are you two OK here?"

"We're fine," she assured him. "Don't forget the nose splint the doctor gave you."

Steve rolled his eyes but held up the black contraption the doctor told him to wear whenever he went into an unknown situation. "Got it. I'll call."

"Be safe," she said as the door closed.

He turned around and gave her a thumbs up, letting her know that he heard her comment before racing after the rest of his team.

H50 – H50 - H50

"Whoa, what the heck is that?" Danny asked when Steve quickly donned the face protection the doctor had prescribed for him.

"Something the doc said I have to wear going into an unknown situation," Steve told him, checking his weapon.

"Well, you're gonna scare the perps into giving up," Danny retorted as they went into action.

H50 – H50 - H50

Danny's assurance of a scare tactic didn't work, but 45 minutes later the three felons had been taken down without any injuries. The team watched as they were loaded into three separate squad cars for transport.

"So, how long do you have to wear that contraption?" Danny asked, pointing to the mask Steve had tossed onto the car.

"Not sure yet," he said. "It's hot as hell."

"Not to mention that it's so stylish," Grover added. "Something akin to Darth Vader."

"Here it comes," Steve muttered. "All the jokes."

"How did it go with Petunia this morning?" Chin asked.

Steve shrugged. "Good, I think. She is willing to try working at Helping Hands. I hope she will interact with the teens and see that not all of them are bad. And I hope they can learn that not all adults hate them."

"That was a good call," Lou told him. "I'm sure it will work out."

"Hope so," Steve said. "We meet with Laila this afternoon."

"Isn't she the person who helped with Nahele?" Danny asked.

"Yes, but she took him home with her," Steve told them. "Said he needed some one-on-one time since he didn't have parents. And those two get along great. I just hope Petunia will give the kids a chance."

"It will work," Chin assured them.

"Are we ready to wrap up here?" Grover asked. "Mr. Vader, do we need to do anything else?"

"Bite me, Lou."

"No, no, I just realized who he looks like with it on," Danny said. He reached for the mask, holding it to his face and belting out, "The Phantom of the Opera is here," horribly off key.

Steve climbed behind the wheel of the Camaro. "Get in unless you plan to walk. You guys shouldn't quit your day jobs. You'd never make it as comedians," he assured them.

H50 - H50 - H50

* * *

 _ **Important notice!**_

This story is a light-hearted tale about whumping Steve by giving him a broken nose, but I hope you realize that we do not take injuries lightly. Especially accidents or injuries inflicted by others.

It is a fact that first responders have saved many lives, first by calling for assistance and second, by offering any aid they can provide to the injured person.

Please, if you see a person in need of help don't look the other way. Surely there is something you can do. Even if it is just to make the call for assistance.

Accidents can happen to anyone – even a highly trained individual (like Steve). No one is exempt. None of us knows when it could happen to one of us or one of our family members. Every year thousands of people needlessly die just because no one had the courage to do something. Often out of fear of doing the wrong thing. Trust me, helping a person in need is never the wrong thing. And quite frankly, a person whose heart has stopped is already dead. You can't kill a dead person. But you can give him or her a chance to live.

Learn CPR! Don't be afraid. It is easy to save a life.

Call for help

Call 911 (or the number in your country)

Make sure it is safe for you to get to the helpless or injured person

Tell (not ask, tell) bystanders to help you, they will follow the one who is taking charge

Be that person who is taking charge. Be the one who is saving a life.

 _ **The only thing you can do wrong… is doing nothing.**_


End file.
